Page 18 of Single Omega Dad
“That’s normal.” Mathias said.
I didn’t like that he was so quiet. “You’re not saying much and it makes me nervous. I feel like there are things you’re not saying. Opinions.”
Mathias blinked and his long lashes flashed for a split second in the late morning light. “It just wasn’t what I expected.”
“What were you expecting?”
He looked down and blinked a little harder. “I don’t know.”
I didn’t like feeling insecure about everything. When we’d met yesterday, I’d been upset about the hassles but had been entirely confident I could handle things. Now, Mathias and his casual manner had me questioning.
I was mad at myself for allowing him any power over me in that way.
“Well,” I said, “if you can see a long-term outcome I can’t, tell me. I don’t like surprises and I have my kids to think about.”
“No. You’re fine. I can take a look at your home loan and see if I can find you something better with lower interest, but for now you have things handled.”
“You weren’t expecting that, then?”
He didn’t answer.
I kept looking at his profile, and at his sleek hair, like a cat’s, black and straight and impossibly shiny. I kept thinking about how broad he was, and yet trim at the waist, and how his suit jacket fit him so perfectly the tailor had to have measured him in every way possible—naked—to get it to fit every curve, every inch of him, the material pressing just right as he bent his arms, or as he stretched his shoulders back.
My skin heated to look at him, though I resented him in every way, his seeming uncaring expressions, his wealth, his intrusion into my home.
But I had invited him here. Realizing that made me grit my teeth as hot and cold tingles ran up and down my spine.
What was wrong with me? I became self-conscious in my old t-shirt and jeans, with my hair sliding forward over my forehead, not neat and tidy and pushed back like I preferred. I really had meant to shower and change before Mathias arrived. I’d mis-timed it and Mathias had been a bit early.
I wanted him to leave, but at the same time I wanted him to see that I was capable, that I was more than just an unfortunate pregnant Omega who’d lost his Alpha and couldn’t take care of himself or his kids. That role was not me. Never had been.
Did I need to prove myself to him? Or to myself?
I blurted out before thinking, “We’re about to have some lunch. Want some?”
What kind of invite was that?
I replayed my words and my tone over and over in my head. How rude I sounded. My cheeks warmed.
I gulped. “It’s just sandwiches. Peanut butter for the kids. Cold cuts for myself.”
Mathias tilted his head as if he were hearing an unfamiliar language.
“I mean, I know you’re a busy man.”
“Yes.” But his tone dropped with that one word. His dark, sleek eyebrows came together.
What was I thinking? I didn’t even know this Alpha. This Alpha who was technically the ruler of my funds. My body and mind simply weren’t in sync.
My body wanted to move toward him, toward his height and broad shoulders, his prickly gaze, his utter nonchalance. It wanted to push through the barrier I could feel around him that was like dark glass waiting to shatter. It knew all of that which my mind rejected.
My mind told me Mathias was bored, put out, uninterested in the problems of lowly Omegas who should all be reared by other Omegas and live on chattel farms.
I should hate him or at the very least greatly resent him. He didn’t seemewhen he made that remark about sending Tybor away. He saw in me a weak and helpless stranger who was good for only one thing. A hole for an Alpha’s Burn.
My body wanted to preen. My mind wanted to rebel, ignore, snarl.
He stood staring down at me. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something more. He took a shallow breath and the insides of his lips glistened.
