Page 52 of Single Omega Dad
“Or what,” I answered.
He came forward and hugged me. I let him because he always respected my solid stance of some discomfort and made his hugs brief and light.
“Let’s go inside and you can tell me all about it.”
“Hmmph.” I followed him into the dim foyer.
At our usual table, the wine poured, Trigg sat back and stared at me for a long time.
“Stop that,” I said. “Ass.”
“Idiot,” he replied softly. “Something’s different about you and I’m trying to figure it out.”
I remained silent.
“Is it because of the other night at Father’s?”
“No.” I scoffed. “That incident is forgotten.”
“But Kris was on your mind. And he’s our brother. He can never be forgotten.”
I took two large swallows of wine. The restaurant was dim and quiet, with candles at every table. I stared at the flame until it hurt my eyes.
“Math, what’s wrong with you? When I picked you up at the farm you were weird, too.”
“I wasn’t. Everything was fine.”
“You seemed less than relaxed, that’s all I’m saying. Feeling relief from the Burn should be a weight off, not on.”
“It was just, you know, a chore. It was done.”
“A chore? Not more than that?”
“No.” I fiddled with my fork. I grabbed my napkin, unfolding it, then folding it up again. “Shouldn’t it be better than just grabbing someone and having at them?” I realized my question came out a whisper.
Trigg leaned forward. His reply, simple. Straight-forward. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” I nodded.
“Not every Burn is great. Sure. Of course. And if you’re keeping yourself distant. Or if you feel ashamed.”
“I’ve never felt ashamed!” I said.
Trigg just blinked at me.
“I take what I want. Always. You know me. I have fun wherever and whenever I can.” My voice came out a bit more defensive than I’d intended.
“You have changed.”
“What?”
“I mean from when we were kids. You used to be funny, more carefree. We all looked forward to our eighteenth birthdays and our Burns. All of us. You bragged about your first time. You said it was so great. But after more Burns, after a couple years, you bragged in even colder more crass ways.”
“I did not. Besides, we went to different schools. You weren’t even around.”
“Sure thing, bro. But you’re a lot of bluster, you know that? And then a while back the bluster stopped. Like, maybe a year ago?”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” I was miffed at him for all this. Bringing up moods? When he didn’t even hang out with me all that much? Didn’t really know me? That wasn’t fair.
