Page 29 of Omega Chattel
I needed to be firmer. I would not repeat the mistakes I’d made with Kee.
“No,” I said.
Alli’s whole body slumped. His face darkened with a flush and my body responded to that with its own rush of unexpected heat. I clamped down on it, exercising firm control.
Emotions tangled up everything. I wanted Alli to succeed. I had made my promise to him. I wanted to keep it. No other distraction. When I committed to a boy, I committed all the way. To his future. To my guardianship of that.
If I kept emotion away, all would be well. My affection for the boy could not be undone. The responsibility had already infused in me a clenching need to do right by him. But the other need, the one that forced him upon my thoughts all hours of the day and night, that I didn’t promise to anyone. Not even to myself.
I need not listen to my inner thoughts. Or my fantasies. I was mature. Adult. I could control myself around Omegas.
Alli was no different from the rest. If I took advantage of him, it would be wrong.
I told myself this again and again. For all the good it might do.
“Do not concern yourself for one moment about paying me back,” I said. “Put it out of your mind.”
“But, sir--”
“No. I won’t hear of it.”
“But what if I wanted to. Just me. Because I felt it, wanted it.” His lashes caught and seemed to reflect the amber light of the overhead fixture.
Dear gods. I had to quash this now.
“I told you when we met. You’re not my type.”
Chapter Nine
Alli
I wasn’t his type.
I looked in the mirror, flicked back my hair, which was glossy and pretty and, well, nicely framed my face if I did say so myself. I had a lean body, slim hips, a tight and nicely rounded ass. The kind I was taught Alphas liked. Friends told me I’d do well in the mating hall when I came of age.
Tarin had said when we first met he didn’t like virgins. It would take too much effort.
Scenarios ran through my mind, arguing with the Alpha. “I’m trained. I’ll be no effort at all!” was always my final statement, confirming to him he was wrong.
But everything about this evening—from getting my math problems wrong, and not understanding general science, to Tarin putting off my offer to service his Burn—had gone wrong. My offer had been appropriate and above-board. Polite and proper. He had a need. I could fulfill it. And I wanted him. Of my own accord.
So why did I feel like the filthiest eighteen year old this side of the Trenches?
It was because of my feelings. I knew it. And because of how he smelled and looked and sounded. Because of his generosity. He truly wanted good things for me.
All that only made me want him more. How could Oren not feel it, too? Maybe he had different tastes. Tev and Farrell only had the ability to focus on each other, so I understood their indifference to the magnificent Alpha who daily graced their presence.
But for me, I couldn’t figure out up from down half the day. Maybe that was why I’d gotten so much of my homework wrong.
There wasn’t a place in the house I could go that I did not scent Tarin’s essence, even when he wasn’t home. Only my room seemed somewhat free of his uniquely Alpha perfume after Enin’s crew had cleaned it. I loved that room, but I hated it, too. It had belonged to Tarin’s lover, Kee.
While I couldn’t sense or smell Kee, knowing it had been his room left me slightly resentful.
There weren’t even any photos of Kee around. So I couldn’t see how I might compare in the looks department. Part of me didn’t ever want to know.
Because I couldn’t sense Tarin in that room, now, I wanted to leave it often. Except at night when I knew he was right next door. Then everything was perfect. I could strain my ears to try to hear him walk about, shuffle his feet on the floor, shower, change his clothes. That was all good—when I felt him close. Closest. At night.
And then I was glad I had that room. Happy to be upstairs with Tarin, alone, and not in the downstairs section with the other Omegas.
