Page 34 of Omega Chattel
How I wanted him to like me. Need me the way I needed him. I could toss and turn all night and to no avail. He could go into the Burn tomorrow and simply leave the house for three days.
“I can do more than gardening.” My voice came out too high, too unsure. I shook it off, straightening my shoulders. “Again, I just want to say my services, my offer—it’s still open.”
His gaze seemed to unfocus, his body go tight. “So you’ve told me. Is that all?” He turned as if to dismiss me again.
I stayed standing where I was. “I know, but, just so you know. Nothing has changed.”
He held up his hand to stop me, but it wasn’t mean or firm. His palm faced the floor. “No need. You can go now.”
I tilted back, head up. “I want to!” I blurted.
He looked up at me and his blue eyes glistened. Was he bored or interested?
“It’s all I know. It’s what I was trained for. And my stupid house-dad wrecked everything.” I hugged my laptop tighter to my chest. “You’re the first Alpha I’ve met. Ever. I know I must look stupid to you. A child.” I needed to stop myself. Now. But my lips kept moving and words kept coming out of my mouth. “But I—it’s all I had in my life. It was my goal. To work the mating hall, find an Alpha and bond.” I felt the muscles around my lips tighten into an unruly pout.
Shame rushed over me, heating my cheeks.
Tarin’s gaze remained flat. His body stiff. Unmoving. Finally, he placed his hand on his desk and leaned into it. “You have a lot of time here to figure things out. Do not rush it.”
Rush what? I wanted Tarin now!
I tried hard to relax my immature pout.
“You can’t do everything. Not all in one day,” Tarin added.
What did he mean by everything? Surely not my offer. All he did was decline me.
My heart slowed and my insides felt scrambled, my mind whirling in a sensation of falling. I blinked, unable to look away. Who could ever look at Tarin’s smooth face, his five o’clock shadow—something most Omegas didn’t have—his broad shoulders, the way he held himself secure and unafraid as if he owned the world, and not crave it? Everything in me leaned toward him.
But it was foolish to want what didn’t want you back.If it’s too good to be true--
I turned away from him and it hurt to no longer see the angles of his body and the glow of his dark hair, and how the light shaded and enhanced the folds and valleys of his clothing, and the planes of his beautiful face. The scent of him—wild winds and secret nights—didn’t change but only increased, which confused me even more. The ache in me increased like nothing I’d ever felt. But obviously, Tarin didn’t feel it in return.
Such a fool I was!
I scurried to the door, flinging it open, exiting his office at a run. I went so fast my footsteps on the rug and then the marble tile barely registered, echoing far behind me as I ran, still clutching my laptop, past the kitchen.
No one was about.
I made it to the French doors at the back of the house that led to the veranda, pushing them open and letting myself go, computer still hugged to me as I ran down the stone stops and onto the dew-damp grass.
It was cool outside. A half-moon shone through the branches of neighboring trees. The garden beds actually glowed, as if life itself produced a visible, faintly blue aura in the darkness.
I moved through the dampness and let the wind softly wash my face with its cool breath.
I quickly strolled past sleeping flowers and the dark shadows of vines and plants to the garden I’d worked in most of the day. Wicker baskets sat in a line along the edge of the bed waiting for more harvest. Everything smelled liquid and clean, slightly minty.
I knelt in the grass, the knees of my trousers instantly soaked, and I took huge gulps of the night-damp air.
Outside in this beautiful yard all was peaceful and calm. My heart had been revved up the whole time I’d been in Tarin’s office, despite its fall of disappointment in both my own bluster of words to Tarin, and Tarin’s response.
After a few minutes, it resumed a sturdy, healthy beat. My limbs stopped shaking. They were shaking? I hadn’t noticed until they calmed. Until my muscles softened and my mind’s thoughts slowed to a safe cadence.
The dark song of crickets surrounded me. Leaves whispered in the faraway trees. Wisdoms. Comforts.
My computer tilted on my lap as I sat my butt against my calves and heels, trying not to get the seat of my pants wet, trying to relax more.
All the jumbles of my life went away in this yard, in the darkness, in the feel of nature all around me—nature as intended. Things were clear-cut. Even if in the wild animal life fought for food, for territory, for mates, it was cut and dry, with no worrying involved. What happened happened fast and furious without question in the wild.
