Page 12 of Empty Heat
“True. Well, let’s talk.”
I always liked working with Rhodes. He was open if nothing else. We both liked covering all the bases professionally.
“I agree with today’s notes you wrote that we—or, rather, you—shouldn’t beat his first time experience into him, making him relive it over and over,” I said. “But I do think he needs to understand that if he said stop, the partner should have stopped. You can’t change his mind about the blame, but you can make him think better going forward. What if his physical condition did not exist? It’s still clear non-consent. Clear and definitive. Get him thinking like that. He needs to know that he’s not at fault. He had every right to pull away. He caused damage, but the damage to him was already being caused, giving him more right than ever to pull away. By the way, do we know what damage the alpha suffered?”
“A severely sprained penis. Nothing that a couple weeks of celibacy couldn’t heal.”
I cringed but still could not feel sorry for an alpha who didn’t stop when asked. “What a terrible thing for an eighteen-year-old omega to feel responsible for. Combined now with learning about his body’s formation being a little different. And the regular doctors and sex therapists never knew how to handle him. I wish he’d come to us sooner.”
“Well,” Rhodes said. “He’s here now.”
I popped some grapes into my mouth, so ripe and crisp. “I want to talk about another matter.”
“I think I know what it is,” Rhodes said.
“Yeah. I’m not happy with the setup. I don’t like pretending I’m something I’m not. I agreed to all this with Kestor and told him I would end it if I had any misgivings. After meeting Callum today, those misgivings are already manifesting. I’m always thinking of the patient first. He’s likable and smart. He deserves our honesty.”
“I wasn’t at the team meeting.”
“Neither was I. I wish I had been,” I said. “Do you think we were told of their decision to keep me undercover at the last minute because they knew we’d protest?”
Rhodes shrugged. “I don’t like to think that about our fellow colleagues. Callum’s case moved quite quickly. And I was very busy. I just came off a case the day before he arrived.”
“All right.” I hadn’t been busy, though.
“Well, all that said, I could tell he liked you. I introduced you, you started talking to him, and he forgot I was there.” Rhodes smiled.
“I’m not sure he forgot.”
“I am. I observed closely. I’m always working, just like you. He was attracted to you. The match the team made is spot on, but why they decided it couldn’t be up front has something to do with what they saw in his psych evals.”
“I read them. I understand all that. He doesn’t trust alphas. It’s not exactly a phobia, but he needs to feel safe. He needs to know there is no overture on my part so he is comfortable enough to open up to me. And yet, hiding from him that I am his matched surrogate is proving that there is indeed an overture. A secret overture, which is worse.” I gave Rhodes my most dramatic sigh.
“I think we should see what tomorrow brings. His heat cycle could come as early as tomorrow. Since he’s a little nervous, it could delay his healing or quicken it. I can’t be sure. But I’m on your side, Lev. I want what’s best for him. If I see that he should know about you, I’ll let you know. As it is, you can tell him you do sex surrogacy. That’s not off the table.”
“Yes. But he didn’t ask. And there were no graceful openings to the topic today.”
“Maybe tomorrow. He meets Soren in the afternoon. We have a scheduled time at Pool Nine. Maybe there is a way I can encourage him to invite you.”
I nodded. “Thanks for letting me know. We’ll see.”
“It’s already apparent he feels safe around you. I can bring that up in our discussions.”
“Yes, and Soren knows the situation.”
“Right.”
“And if Callum wants Soren, it’s his choice.” A strange pain in my solar plexus accompanied that statement.
“Yes. I say we sleep on it all tonight. I’ll go Callum again in the morning before breakfast.”
“I’ll be out and around his cabin doing some gardening.”
Rhodes laughed. “I always knew you were multi-talented.”
“Well, I do know how to mow a lawn. My father gave me an allowance in tiers. The more chores I did, the higher the allowance. I always did the chores because I loved having spending money in my pocket.” I chuckled. “I can sweep, too.”
Rhodes laughed. The night was easy and calming, but we both knew our patient had some serious troubles and we would be his main route to healing.
