Page 32 of Empty Heat
I wondered if the pool made any whistling sound the human ear could not hear. Probably not, but it was a fun thing to think about.
10
Lev –Fluffers and Magic Penises
Senta emailed me asking for all my notes. I texted him to remind him what I’d told him before: I’d made no notes and would not be doing any in the future regarding Callum.
He asked me to come by, even though we’d spoken in the morning.
It wasn’t much of a second meeting. He wanted to tell me he’d met with Callum and Callum was upset.
“Will the team for his case meet again?” I asked.
“Yes,” Senta replied. “They’ll want to call you in.”
I shook my head. “I feel wrong talking about Callum to anyone now that he’s asked me not to.”
“But it is your job.”
“He was quite specific, and I feel I must respect that request. I was not his therapist yet. He had not yet chosen me. So I respectfully take myself out of it.”
“Of course. But is there anything you can tell me at all? About your own feelings on the matter?”
“You already know them. I’m unhappy. I disapproved of the plan, a plan which I was not told about until the morning of Callum’s arrival.”
Senta leaned forward and typed something into his laptop. “Go on.”
I nodded. I couldn’t hold myself back. “Why this case? Why this plan for Callum? I’ve never seen this done before, where we actually lie to patients.”
“I admit it was a new formula. Wehavelied to patients, but only in severe cases where their lives are at stake. It is a doctor/patient ethical call. But when they are better able to handle the truth, they are always informed.”
“I can understand that, but Callum is not dying. He simply wants the prospect of a family in his future.”
“Your opinion is noted.” Senta looked up at me. “Is there any more you can tell me?”
A lot more. I wanted to say I was the best match for him as a sexual surrogate. I wanted to say that Callum and I had connected, and I had gotten him to trust me after less than a day. He had wanted me to show him where the Caribbean whistle could be heard online. Yet all of that was ruined by their ridiculous plan.
In five years, I’d had some ups and downs on the job, but never had I been so disappointed, or so worried about a patient. It might not have been an easy case, but it should have gone smoother.
As far as my attraction to Callum, that part had to stay private. Perhaps it was the most frustrating aspect of this case for me, as well. For selfish reasons, I had been looking forward to the therapy with him. My urge to help him had welled up. Now my heart sat like a stone in my chest.
“I have a lot of thoughts on this case, but I cannot discuss them.”
“Because Callum asked you not to.” He repeated what I’d said as if to be sure.
“Yes.” I sighed to soften the strain in my tone.
Senta frowned as if trying to read my thoughts. He knew something was up with me. “You’ll still be paid the bonus for this case.”
That was the last thing on my mind. “That’s not my concern.”
He smiled. “I know. You’re a very good therapist and we are lucky to have you on staff.”
The praise was nice, but in the current moment, it felt unearned.
Senta had mirrors on the windowless wall to the south of his desk. Fresh violets sat on a credenza beneath. Everything shimmered in elegance, spotless and shiny.
Despite his beauty, wealth and impeccable taste, he remained single at thirty-eight with an ageless face and serene beauty. There had to be a story there.
