Page 20 of Empty Heat
“—behind the closed gates.” He finished my sentence for me. “I know. I’ve been told.”
We shared a lovely laugh as the breeze ruffled the sleeves and hems of our thin kimonos.
I threw back my head and let the air stream around my neck as it lifted individual loose hairs around my face. In this moment, I wanted to be right here and nowhere else. I didn’t feel like a therapist. Or deceitful in any way. My true self touched the wind and sea and trees through sound and scent and sight.
I turned to Callum at the same time he turned toward me.
“I know it’s wrong of me to think this. Or say it. But I wish you were a surrogate.” He glanced off toward the sea as soon as he spoke, but I saw the color rising on his cheeks.
Every muscle in my body tensed. This was it. He wasn’t outright questioning me, but he was making his thoughts known. Within that statement, his preference was obvious even though he had not yet met Soren.
I could not continue my charade.
“Oh, but I am. Gardening isn’t my only job here.” I held my breath.
“What?” He spun so fast that little rocks and a few leaves swirled up around his sandals.
I watched him closely as his chest expanded and his fingers curled to fists. His eyebrows narrowed creating a tight line between them. His eyes moved back and forth as his mind rushed to process this new information.
I did not reply to his question. He had clearly heard my confession.
“You never said anything.” His mouth stayed open.
“No.” I kept my tone low.
“Rhodes knows?”
“Of course.”
“Have you worked together before?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” He paused, frowning harder. “Why would you just lead me to believe you were the gardener and nothing more than that?”
“I did omit some things.”
“Omit? Why?”
“I didn’t want you to be nervous around me.”
“You’ve worked with Rhodes, so why would you be gardening, too? Are you even a gardener?”
I let out the breath I’d been holding in a long sigh. “No.”
Callum’s mouth turned down. “I don’t understand. You’re not the gardener? You were lying to me?” His breaths grew shallower.
“It started out that way, but I’m telling you now. I am not a gardener. It was thought you would be nervous around me otherwise—if you knew I was part of the therapeutic staff. Your discomfort with alphas—”
His eyes took on a painful shine. “My discomfort with alphas? That’s why you lied? So I’d be more comfortable around you?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer. “I’m sorry. I disagreed with that tactic myself, which is why I’m telling you the truth now.”
“But this is exactly why I am the way I am! Because people—alphas—treat me like something is wrong with me. Because I can only be seen as a fuckable omega, or an omega in heat, or an omega with problems. And I’m the one with problems. I guess I thought we were sort of becoming friendly, but now I know the truth. I’m just another job. You were playing therapist with me without my knowledge. It’s—it’s not right. You said such nice things. You were so intelligent and calm.”
I opened my mouth to reply but nothing came out.
“You—I actually liked you.”
