Page 25 of Empty Heat
“Yes.”
A weird twinge of jealousy went through my chest, then vanished. I knew Lev would be considerate, gentle and controlled. He struck me as calm, but also caring. Damn it, he would have been perfect.
“Is he good at what he does?”
“Excellent.” Rhodes’ tone was laced with questions, but he said nothing.
“How long has he worked here?”
“The same amount of time as I’ve known him. Five years.”
It seemed like a long time. I would have been twenty when he started working here. Lev looked no older than about thirty.
“How old is he?”
“Thirty-two.”
I couldn’t help but wonder how one went into the business of sexual surrogacy. It was an odd thing. Like prostitution but sanctioned. Trained for.
“Do sexual surrogates have licenses?”
“Yes. Well, more like certifications. They train for it. There are special organizations that help assist potential surrogates with classes. But to get certified by any one of those organizations requires a lot more than passing tests. They are heavily interviewed. They are assessed on factors of empathy and commitment to healing. Most of the organizations require a nursing license and/or therapist certification as well. Would you like to talk to a surrogate? You have a lot of questions.”
“You can answer, right?” I did not care what he made of that question.
“All right. You are asking a lot specifically about Lev, though.”
Nothing got past Rhodes. “That’s because he’s the only surrogate I’ve met.”
“Understood.”
After a while, Rhodes began again to be a bit more comfortable with me, and he started asking the questions.
“Do you still want to meet Soren today? I can postpone that.”
“It’s fine.”
“You do not have to participate in surrogacy during your heat, you know.”
“II haven’t decided yet.”
“That’s all up to you.”
He wanted me to talk about feelings over and over. I admit I was short with him. I felt hurt, still, and didn’t know how exactly to describe it. It wasn’t pain, it was more a severe let down. Like I’d had something in my grasp and lost it. It was a disappointment but also more than that, like nothing was ever smooth for me, nothing would ever go my way.
I couldn’t yet articulate that to Rhodes. But I knew he’d keep at me until I did.
I did tell him I was apprehensive about my heat.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because it’s inconvenient for me. I know we scheduled my visit so I would have a heat while I’m here, but now I don’t want to deal with that. It’s frustrating.”
“Whatever makes you the most comfortable can be done for you. If you want to isolate, that is fine. Swimming to cool off is also good. As you know, we have the private pool areas. And we have natural herb supplements that can help.”
“Help? I don’t need help bringing on my heat.”
“No, I meant they are natural suppressants. They help make you more comfortable.”
