Page 31 of Empty Heat
I always forced smiles to try to make things easier all the way around. I didn’t do that now. “It’s weird, I guess. That I’ll be touched so intimately yet still in a way that is medical. I don’t know that I’ll like it, but I’ll learn from it.”
“Our surrogates are trained in sexual response, not just the act. They are going to help you like it.”
“Oh. Well, that’s almost embarrassing, but also good.” I felt my skin grow hotter than already seemed possible in the tropical climate.
“Knowing that, do you still want me in the room?”
I nodded. “I do. What’s it like for you? I mean, doing this.”
“I work with all sorts of patients with all sorts of problems, young and old. I love my job. But what’s it like for me? Well, it makes me feel fulfilled that another can be helped with a wonderful thing that may have been denied them. I believe good, consenting sex is a gift. Love is the miracle that can result. It’s my favorite subject. That said, I’m not some wild and crazy omega bending over for every alpha. But this job reflects my beliefs in the way people should be with each other. Open and respectful. Everyone should have a choice in this matter to do or not to do. And to find a compatible partner or partners.”
“Thank you for telling me that.”
“I don’t mind talking about it at all. That’s why I’m in this line of work.”
“But I mean your personal thoughts.”
Rhodes leaned forward. “I can and will tell you anything about my personal experiences. It’s all right. But my take is just that, my take, my view. I talk about myself so people can think about it in relation to their own views. I don’t have right/wrong answers. This is a gray field of study. We all might seem the same, but everyone is different in how they handle their lives, and how they think about themselves, especially their sensual selves.”
Just then, a knock came at the gate. A voice said, “Permission to come in?”
“Hey, Soren,” Rhodes called out. “Come on. It’s fine.”
The gate opened and a huge alpha walked through. He wore a black kimono with a blue flowered pattern sprinkled over it. He had short, dark hair with a wide forehead and a strong chin. He walked straight to me and held out his hand.
“I’m Soren. You’re Callum?”
“Yes.” His giant hand encompassed mine as he shook it. The touch was firm, but he didn’t linger. He took his hand away as if he didn’t want to overwhelm me.
Too late. I was not short, but I had to look up to meet his gaze. His shoulders were broad and thick. I had muscle, but nothing like this guy. He was big.
My heart began to beat faster, but I told myself all was fine. I didn’t have to choose him. I couldn’t have someone this big, and I knew it. But a niggling voice in the back of my mind asked,What if you fell in love and he was big like Soren? Then what?
But I already knew. My surrogate would not be this man.
I didn’t say a word about it.
Rhodes offered Soren a pink lemonade, which he downed in almost one gulp, holding his glass out for more.
Rhodes laughed.
We all three approached the pool at once. Soren took off his kimono to reveal a muscle-bound body that looked more like a sculpture than reality.
“I’m assuming trunks on for today?” Soren asked Rhodes.
“Yep.” Rhodes’ own trunks were lime green. Soren wore black, which hid very little. He had a lot going on in those trunks. Impressive, to say the least. And his ass muscles pushed through the stretch of his bathing suit like hard, curved stones.
I sighed in disappointment at myself that I couldn’t even think about having any fun—sexual fun, that was—with an alpha like Soren, then dived near the deep end waterfall into cool bliss.
We all swam lazily for a while and played some pool volleyball for a while, which had me laughing and forgetting about my problems. If Lev had come, the day would have been even better. But I couldn’t let myself think like that. I wouldn’t.
Sometimes the world wouldn’t let go. Sometimes you just needed to play. Swimming was one of my favorite pastimes, so this was wonderful.
Still, my mind kept wandering. What was Lev doing? Did he get another patient right away? Was he in meetings?
He should have been here swimming with us. He deserved to be here.
I sank underwater to help still all my thoughts. The silence was blue and wonderful. I could hear the faint lap of water as Soren and Rhodes batted the plastic ball about, but that was it. Peace filled me. The cool fresh face of now.
