Page 40 of Empty Heat
“It sounds almost like a submarine sound effect.”
“Yes. But it’s not man-made at all. It’s the ocean itself.”
“And it really can be heard from space?”
“It says so right here.” I pointed at the computer screen.
“Is it an article?”
“Yes.”
“Can you read it out loud?”
I smiled. Like a child, he wanted this story over and over and I loved telling it. It was my favorite, too. My heart reached out to him. My body remained on hold and I began.
“There is a current beneath the sea that oscillates within the Earth’s gravitational field.”
As I finished, I took the computer away and sat back onto the floor, watching him watch me.
“You’re the one who told me the truth,” he said.
I frowned a question.
“Would Rhodes have done it? Would anyone? Soren? Or another surrogate?”
“If you asked.”
“What if I’d never asked you?”
“I wanted you to know anyway. You don’t have to believe me, but I’d already been thinking about how to tell you as we were walking this morning to the viewpoint.”
The shine of his eyes vanished as he closed them. He rolled back a little, his hand stretched toward me on the mattress. “You told me the truth and I punished you the hardest.”
“Punished? I don’t think so. You reacted in fairness to yourself.”
“No. Because you were the one I felt closest to even though Rhodes spent all his time with me. You were the one I wanted to seek out every minute since I met you. I felt like I knew you when we met. Is that weird?”
Callum turned his head toward me, eyes opening.
“Feelings are feelings,” I answered. “Just different for each person. If, when you sayweird, you mean is it rare, I would say yes. It’s rare to feel like you know someone you’ve just met. But it happens.”
He let out a sad laugh. “I thought,oh if only he was my surrogate, when we met.” He laughed again. “I’m upset because that’s what I thought and you were and if I’d known, well—” He stopped. “If we could do it all over again, would you tell me right then?”
I didn’t have to think at all. “Yes.”
“Now, you’re off my case. What does that mean?”
“It means I am no longer consulted about you or your condition. It means I refused to make any final notes at your request. The end.”
“The end.” He huffed. “But what if I asked?”
“Asked what?” My muscles clenched. I squeezed my lips tight and a sting radiated in my eyes.
“If you would still do it? Be my surrogate?”
The air froze in my lungs. For a moment everything tensed. I couldn’t move.
My answer would be yes. No hesitation. But what confounded me was all the emotion that rushed over me in that one second, confirming I wanted more. If he knew that, it could ruin everything. But full honesty demanded center stage between us.
