Page 72 of Empty Heat
“I am happy to hear it.”
We all relaxed with our fancy, fruity drinks.
After a while, Senta asked, “Can we talk about the time you spent with Lev?”
I didn’t have to think. “No.”
“But you are feeling well?”
“Yes.”
It was the truth. Physically and mentally, Lev had helped me. But leaving him was not good. I’d gotten too close and I knew it. It was my own problem, not theirs. No one had caused it. It was like air. Just there. An attachment.
“Rhodes and I, and I’m sure Lev, too, will hate to see you go.”
“Me, too. I loved my time here. It was everything I needed. I hope that’s enough for you to hear.”
“Yes, it is wonderful. We will be emailing you a questionnaire to fill out about your stay, if you will. And I also want you to know if you ever need to return, you are welcome. We have an open-door policy to past patients who may need our help again. Healing is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight.”
“Yes. I know.” What I didn’t say was that in one night I found everything I’d never known I’d been missing.
I had almost erased Lev’s number from my phone this morning, but I didn’t. It was the last thing on the island I found too difficult to leave behind.
* * *
The cool canopyof trees leading to the small tarmac on the edge of the island by the white beach rustled in a smooth trade wind.
The jet stood shining in the bright sun, a jewel ready to take to the sky.
I heard someone call my name.
“Callum?”
I turned. Rhodes ran up the path to greet me. He had a package in his hands. “Here.” He handed it to me.
My suitcase was already loaded. I only had my computer and a few other things in my backpack so my hands were free. I took the package.
“What is this?”
“It’s from Lev. He wanted to give you a present but he couldn’t come himself.”
I felt the heft of it, looked at the size. It was the same size box the toy collection had come in. The dildos of different sizes. The tentacle. The vibrator. The inflatable.
I knew they were inside.
Tears began to stream down my face. Lev had tried. Oh, he had tried. But it wasn’t what I wanted.
I dropped the package and bowed my head, my body tensing up, shuddering with my caught breaths.
I didn’t realize I was sobbing until Rhodes had his arms around me, completely supporting my weight.
I heard voices. “Go on. Go on.” I had no idea what they meant, but Rhodes continued to hold me.
“Callum, you’re okay. Just stay with me here. There’s no hurry.”
“I have to get on the plane.” My words sounded all jumbled up.
“No. No you don’t. Not yet. The plane will come back. Why don’t you just come with me for now?”
