Page 28 of Broken Heat
I wanted to hover over Mykel on my hands and knees and see everything about him without him touching me. Was I allowed to ask for that?
However my patient needs me,Mykel had said.
I turned my shoulders so I could better face him. “He wouldn’t let me see him.”
Mykel’s eyebrows came together. “Coah?”
I nodded. “I shouldn’t keep bringing him up. I’m moving forward but I keep bringing him up.”
“You can talk about him as much as you wish.” Mykel bent his knee up and his robe fell away revealing his inner thigh, a cord of muscle running from the upper part to underneath the hem, the rest of it soft with a scattering of shiny gold hair. “You’re not trying to move against yourself and your thoughts. This isn’t a battle.”
“I’m trying not to do any battle. But is it okay to ask for things I want?”
“More than okay. I want you to be open about your wishes and needs. The goal is to open those spaces and let your mind go as well.”
“That sounds good.” Could I really look at him? Naked and unguarded?
“Think of it like a journey. We’re taking it together. There is a dormant seed in your heart. We want to water it. Find it a strong place to thrive. Your hormones appear normal on your tests so now it’s a matter of letting your body communicate with itself.”
I closed my eyes and took a breath. “Let my body communicate with itself,” I repeated.
“As best you can.”
“I want to see you.” I raised my eyelids and gazed at his face.
Mykel’s voice went soft. “I am right here.”
“I mean without the robe. I never got to see. Not in bed. Not during. Not after. Only when we changed clothes as a necessity. I felt him. I smelled him. I tasted him. But he wanted it dark.” My eyes filled as I remembered, and I didn’t know why.
Mykel raised himself up. “Lots of people make love in darkness. It’s not wrong. Don’t worry. You can look at me all you wish.”
He undid the waist belt and parted the thin robe, lifting his back and hips to pull it away from his body. He dropped it to the side of the bed where I watched it float out of sight.
My gaze was immediately drawn to his chest and magnificent flat abs. I’d seen them when we swam. But not like this, lying back on my bed, staying still for the sole purpose of being stared at by me.
I looked lower and saw the dark gold curls that began at just below the navel and led down to a trimmed bed of russet surrounding a beautiful healthy penis resting against protruding testicles. The veins of his shaft were prominent even soft, and he was cut unlike Coah who I knew by touch had a prominent foreskin.
Mykel was beautiful. My lips parted to allow me more air as I scanned downward to the tanned legs, thighs slightly parted, one knee raised, calves firm and ankles turned so one big toe covered the other.
I moved my gaze back up his body, over his groin and stomach and chest to his face. He watched me with a soft look, patient. Waiting.
There was a naked man beside me in bed, which hadn’t happened in over three years, and I was looking at him. It made me feel almost feral. Like nothing I’d experienced before.
I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in close to the dip between shoulder and neck, and inhaling.
I smelled the tropical shampoo he’d used not ten minutes ago. But beneath that was a sharper scent that drew me in. A tartness that I could almost taste on the sides of my tongue and further back. I wanted to breathe him and lick him at the same time. I wanted to tap the edge of his skin with my teeth.
Alpha. Pure alpha. My instincts came up like light bulbs going off one by one. To touch. To lick. To mold into the form I could best take inside me. To touch deeper. To arouse. To breed.
This knowing manifested as impulses and tingles. Deep inside myself a wetness began to form. I felt it warm my hole, pressing, dampening. The last time I’d gotten wet like this had been during my final heat a month before Coah got sick.
This didn’t feel like a heat, though.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
Mykel blinked at me. “Nothing.”
“Yes. You are.” I heard my voice go up as if to argue my point.
