Page 36 of Broken Heat
I turned so I could embrace him back, my right arm going around him, my legs shuffling until my ass rested against his inner thigh.
My eyes began to ache.
“I don’t understand,” I said, my breath hitching before I could finish my sentence.
“Shh. Just let me. It’s what you need.” Mykel’s voice sounded both close and faraway.
After another few minutes, I felt almost high. Like the punch had been spiked or something. My mind swam. I opened my eyes to make sure I was still where I thought I was.
Yes, there was the window and the door to the bathroom and the ceiling fan slowly spinning with a quiet huff. And I was on crisp linen sheets in a safe place, warm, strong arms around me.
Everything was blurred. My muscles were like liquid. My face was wet.
I rubbed it against Mykel’s skin.
“You’re all right. Safe. You know that.”
I couldn’t imagine this therapy would be like this. Taking me into such a place of need and stinging openness.
“Is it supposed to be like this?” I asked, haltingly.
“For some. You needed to let go. The barriers in you are strong.”
Were they always there? I wanted to know. Had they been there with Coah even though we had a bond? I wondered now about that bond. Had it ever really been there? Had it been real or something we only mentioned, a word expected to be used without a second thought in a marriage.
But I’d never felt like this. Completely unformed. New. Waiting for someone to shape me.
The other beautiful thing about this moment—about Mykel—was that he wasn’t babbling at me like I’d expected a therapist to do. At least, not right now. He was quiet. He let me be.
I floated as I let my body silently weep away the past three years—and maybe more.
I dozed off without realizing it, waking to see the room had settled into shadow, but the bedside lamp was still on, just at a lower setting. I could still see everything around us.
We were in a different position, lying flatter on the soft bed on our sides, his arms and legs wrapped around me like he might never let me go.
I couldn’t tell if only minutes or longer had passed. I was still painfully aroused.
I squirmed a little, and Mykel’s arms loosened.
“Okay?” he asked softly.
“Very.”
“I thought I’d lost you there.” His voice held a smile.
“A little. Is that supposed to happen? I mean for therapy?”
“I have some theories.” He sounded mysterious.
“For my heats?”
“Yes. And remember, this work is intuitive and everyone is different. There are no rules.”
“Tell me.”
“My theories?”
“Yes.”
