Page 45 of Broken Heat
Blue balls were a real thing when an alpha was in rut. And the knots, well, that really sucked. They might form without warning, bulging and forcing spurts of liquid everywhere. They were a total mess. They were orgasmic and pleasurable, but a major inconvenience as well.
Ruts were best kept in the privacy of one’s own home.
I felt one coming on even as the thought ended and cursed loudly to the room. It forced me to get up, awkwardly navigate my way around the couch and past my open concept kitchen.
I was already untying my sarong as I entered my bedroom. I tried not to look down. I knew what was happening. I knew what my knot looked like. But I couldn’t help it. The big mirror on my closet, plus the one on my bathroom door gave me the full image.
I stood naked and gleaming with a light sheen of sweat despite the air conditioning. My blond hair was wavier than usual, darkened at my temples from stress sweat. My mouth was turned down, my jaw locked with the beginnings of ecstasy churning through my muscles and veins. My cock jutted out from my body, rock hard, the head swollen red and wet. The knot at the base pressed the skin so tight it became smooth while the rest of my cock looked ridiculously veined and rough by comparison. It was an illusion. The knot made the skin stretch and soon it would work its way up my shaft to the base of the head before ending its journey.
The purpose was, of course, to force semen into the mate, locking the erection in place as the pulsings began. It was like coming several times in a row without being able to take a breath. Not one long orgasm, but many piling up one after the other in the exhaustive attempt to reproduce.
I wrapped my hand around the thickness, unable to keep from squeezing and stroking.
Immediately, I began to ejaculate and I had just enough frame of mind to quickly pick up my tossed sarong and catch the emissions before making a mess of everything.
I groaned, my head going back, my hips automatically thrusting at air. I caught myself on the threshold to my bathroom to get my balance before turning on the shower once again and forcing myself under the steady flow.
15
Elon –Even the Air
Just knowing Mykel was nearby and I couldn’t go to him made me hyper aware. I wasn’t thinking right. I knew that. But I couldn’t let go.
Senta had come to me and spoken with a calm rationality. Intellectually, I understood him. But my emotions were like another creature, a creature who didn’t care about rules or policy.
Mykel had left his scent all over me. It was in my throat, on my skin, beating with my very pulse. Senta didn’t understand. This feeling didn’t operate under anything concerning policy.
It was like walking away from a present half-unwrapped, a song half-sung. Or like you had put the glue on an object and forgot to re-attach the broken part.
It was like all the things I’d left behind that sat heavy once I was driving down the road too far to go back. Now they all piled up, the feeling multiplied a hundred times.
My next surrogate would say he needed to know all of this first before moving forward and continuing with my therapy. I hated thinking I might have to explain it. It was perfectly simple: I didn’t want another surrogate.
I felt helpless. Worse. Locked in a cage half-feral and hungry.
I moved about my cabin in a kind of daze. I kept looking out the front window, expecting Mykel to walk up at any moment. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe he’d want to see me so badly and convinced Senta the policies did not apply to us.
Us. I had been thinking there was anus.
I knew how that sounded. After only a couple of days, I’d lost my mind over the first alpha I’d had an orgasm with. Well, two orgasms if anyone was counting.
But that scent. It was inside my skin!
A voice in my head that sounded like Coah said:You’re in heat. Your little cock is hard as steel and you want to bend over for my knot. I’m the convenient mate in this situation and I have to ask: Do you really love me or is this just hormones running through your blood?
But I had implored over and over:I love you. I loveyou.
It was always so hard for him to believe me. He’d come from a family of neglect. Words were spoken that meant nothing. Promises were made but never kept.
Coah had trouble learning I was not made of the same cloth he’d come from. And I still loved him, even for all his flaws. Even if he was a little mean about my heats.
They are feverish needs,he would say.I want all that to be for me and me alone. I want all your attention. Is that asking too much?
No, it wasn’t.
But this was different. Inside me I did not feel the same as if I were in heat. I did question it several times throughout the morning. Was I wet in my hole because I needed to be bred? Did I want a knot for therapeutic reasons or because I knew Mykel would hurt to be denied access to a willing omega?
I wasn’t overly shaky and needy. I was, instead, craving to go an alpha in despair who’d left behind his essence until I was wrapped in it, until I was falling fast into his need. That was key. It was his need that compelled me, and my own was blooming in response.
