Page 49 of Omega Island
Mornings, we liked to go to the dining room and have breakfast served to us. But at night we enjoyed our dinners on Senta’s balcony, just the two of us. I became spoiled to the fresh fish dishes and ripe fruit salads, the vegetables cooked to perfection, the desserts so tempting with their fresh creams, cakes and puddings.
Every morning and every evening, when he wasn’t working, Senta gave me his full attention, wanting me to tell him my moods, my feelings, everything that was going on.
“I want you to be well,” he said. “I want you to feel whole and good.” He pointed a finger at me, one eyebrow lifted. “And I’ll know if you lie. So tell me the truth.”
I decided to be open with him about my therapy sessions with Hondo. I began to share more about the things that had happened with Straten, though still questioning why I’d let it go on so long.
At dinner one night, I said, “The idea that we as humans can fix things if we just work harder and longer is ingrained in the species,” he told me. “Most people want things to last and not change.”
“I kept thinking the feelings I had for Straten in the beginning would change. That he would see it, too, and want that original relationship we had. I was searching for a foundation I never had and he was punishing me for it. And before I knew it, things just got worse and worse.”
“Communication will always be open between us, agreed?”
“Agreed.” I kissed him lightly, my arm going around him, candles in glass jars surrounding us on the balcony. “But to begin with, you’re nothing like him at all. I made a very bad and fast choice.”
“This has been fast, too.” Senta’s face was beautiful in the flickering shadows of the candlelight.
“Yes. And Hondo and I have talked about that. I have a better grip on reality and my own mind now. I’m not repeating a past mistake.”
“No.” Senta stood and held out his hand to me. “I don’t think you are.”
“I know in my heart I’m being honest and true to myself. And it’s because of you.” I pushed my chair out and took his hand.
Later, as we lay back on soft pillows, naked and damp, we talked about all our dreams and wishes, our likes and dislikes, our memories that made us who we were, and then, later, we made love again.
* * *
The bondbetween us grew stronger. I lost track of time.
One afternoon while I sunned at the pool, Bam called me. “Hey, Raim. It’s been a month. When are you coming back to California?”
“Well, that’s just it, Bam. I think I’m staying.” I hadn’t told him about Senta. I hadn’t told anyone off the island because a part of me didn’t want to rock the dream. It seemed so new and fragile.
It occurred to me that Senta and I had not actually discussed a permanent agreement. Yes, I’d practically moved in with him even though I still had some things at the cabin, and we were in a committed relationship since neither of us had other lovers, but the real words hadn’t been spoken. The big words. The three utterances that formed a phrase every true romance required.
I love you.
I sat back on the pool lounger under a big umbrella, my skin still drying from a recent swim, and stared at my phone. Bam’s voice came through loud and clear.
“What? You’re staying? Tell me all about it!”
I spent the next half hour telling my brother about my new life. And my new love.
At first he was reticent, worried. But as I talked, he confessed his relief for me and we ended the conversation with him saying, “Dude, I’m so happy for you!”
That was the day everything became more real than a dream. When I knew this was not a mirage that would disappear if I poked it.
I knew I had more I wanted to talk about to Senta than just my therapy homework, or my worries about repeating the past, or whether we wanted lobster or steak for dinner, or both.
The gate to the private pool opened, closed and locked.
“I thought I’d find you here.” Senta approached, leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. Then he eyed me up and down. I was wearing a pair of tight red trunks. “You look appetizing.”
I grinned up at him. “It’s my new healthy lifestyle.”
“Healthy food, sun and exercise will do it every time.”
“No. It’s you. All you.”
