Page 35 of A Little Christmas: Rivi
“I knew that.” We had been friends for too long. Things could be overlooked when someone was in full-on protective mode.
Trent’s chin went up. “Go find him. And take him his games.”
Right. The gift. My own gift had already been stashed in my room. I glanced at the table where Ozzy and Maddy had been coloring. Crayons and ripped out pages from the coloring books were everywhere. Beneath that table was Rivi’s gift.
I went to it and picked it up.
As I walked from the room, Trent caught my eye and sent me a quick smile. Then he looked away. His gesture seemed almost insignificant, but it spoke volumes. He was giving his boy to me. The son he’d wished he’d had.
That was a very big deal.
15
Rivi
Iwoke to complete darkness. My back, side and feet were freezing. A draft blew winter air on me where I curled deep into some cushions.
For many seconds, I had to think hard to remember where I was. It was like building the world around me that sleep had obliterated.
I stretched out my feet and felt something hard. My hand brushed pillowy softness. Slowly, the darkness revealed things. There were low-powered nightlights overhead. I lifted my head and saw the long hall I’d come down after leaving the Christmas Eve gathering.
Everything became three-D and solid again.
How long had I been asleep? Had dinner already been served? My stomach rumbled. I remembered Uncle Trent and his polite but obvious disapproval of Briar and after that I hadn’t wanted dinner. I didn’t want anything.
It was my favorite night of the year. But now it felt all icky.
The kink party was coming up. It no longer seemed appealing. I loved hanging out with Ozzy and Maddy, but if that was all it would be, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to go anymore. I’d feel too self-conscious with Uncle Trent watching me, looking out for me. Which I appreciated because I knew he loved me. But I no longer felt excited that I could explore myself without inhibitions.
I turned onto my back, clutching Santa, and shivered. The air down this hallway was awfully cold. Maybe the heat didn’t reach this far.
I imagined everyone back in the warm lounge enjoying a great dinner, laughing, sharing stories, the littles looking out the windows at the skies for Santa’s sleigh.
Tears stung at my eyelids.
Maybe I had been wrong to ask Uncle Trent if I could come to his estate for the holidays. He had his secret life, and I had mine. Maybe they should not have mixed.
I sniffed back my tears. But not before a soft whimper escaped my throat.
“Rivi?”
My head jerked back. That sounded like Briar.
“Are you down here?”
“Briar?”
Footsteps hurried toward me, and I saw a shadow of a big man in the weak light. To my surprise, Briar appeared. He stood over me, casting me in complete shadow.
“What are you doing here?”
“I just wandered down here.” My voice came out rattled.
“It's freezing. Is there a window open or something?”
“Just drafts. Were you looking for me?” I couldn't believe he'd left the party to come after me.
“Yes. I went back to the gathering and you weren't there. Trent and I had a somewhat long discussion and he said you'dleft early.” He shifted something in his arms. “You left your gift behind. I brought it.”
