Page 19 of Merry Little Christmas
Their nervous grin widened into a full smile. “Perfect.”
Chapter Thirteen
Peyton
The bed dipped earlythe next morning, but I was too tired to do more than snatch Cole’s pillow to snuggle with it. In and out of the shower, then he quietly tiptoed out of the bedroom—which we hadn’t left for nearly twenty-four hours, and I had no desire to do so now. I cracked an eye open. The sun strained around the heavy curtains on the doors.
I groaned. Sun meant that the snow was melting, and we were now counting down the moments before Jesse barreled through the front door and burst our happy little bubble.
Ugh… “little.” Just thinking the word made me want to reach for my soother. It sat beside me on the nightstand, seeming to taunt me. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I didn’t know why it had to be a thing. Cole was right: we were two consenting adults, and no one had any claim over either of us—but that didn’t stop the anxiety roiling in the back of my mind. I rolled into my back, ignoring how gross and sticky my binder was. I hadn’t yet gotten comfortable enough to take it off during sex, but Cole had thankfully respected that.
I only wished that my dysphoria hadn’t outweighed the need to have his hands on every part of me. When his rough palmsglided over the fabric, fingers teasing my nipples through the garment, I’d gone wild. I hadn’t known it was something I wanted until that moment.
Too stressed to deal with that right away, I snatched my pacifier from the nightstand and stuck it in my mouth. Instantly soothed, I let my eyes shut again, but only for a moment.
Or so I thought.
I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep. Not until the front door crashed open and Jesse’s loud, obnoxious voice rang through the house. “Peyton?”
I tucked my soother under the pillow and sat up… only to be reminded of how gross I felt. My brother could wait until I’d had a shower.
I didn’t rush either. I took my time, enjoying the hot water battering my skin. It was the only thing that seemed to ease the twisting in my gut that made me feel sick. Deep down, I knew that Jesse wouldn’t care that Cole and I were together, but I wish my brain had caught up with that memo.
With a deep breath, I gathered the courage to leave the sanctity of Cole’s bedroom.
The casual conversation they’d been having ceased the moment I opened the door. My heart thudded with each step. Scrubbing the back of my neck, I rounded the corner and two sets of dark eyes swung to look at me: Cole’s green, and Jesse’s brown.
I’d always envied my big brother. Tall, rugged, and everything I wanted to be, and he didn’t even have to try. Our eyes were where the similarities ended. Jesse’s hair was a few shades darker, complementing the golden undertones to his skin. Stubble lined a chiseled jawline that I’d kill to have. And, while it never worked on me, everyone always said he had a killer smile.
Though when his lips twitched, the only thing I saw was my annoying older brother. He cleared his throat. “Your neck alright?”
“Slept funny.”
Jesse threw his head back and barked out a laugh. “Cut theshit,” he said, gesturing to his best friend, whose grindidget my heart stuttering. “I’ve already seen the damage you did to him.”
Heat flushed my cheeks and the back of my neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rolling his eyes, Jesse tugged on my arm, but knew his tactics all too well. I spun, elbowing him in the ribs when he tried to pin my arms back. “Dickhead!” I laughed.
Groaning and doubled over in pain, he lowered himself into a chair while I backed into Cole’s arms.
“Fucking bony elbows!” Jesse grumbled—but he was still smiling. “You little shit.”
“I learned from the best.” Cole’s arms closed around me and he nuzzled into my neck. I let out a sigh of relief.
“So… You two a thing now?” my brother asked, still babying his injury.
“Yes,” Cole said at the same time I asked, “Would that be a problem?”
Jesse only scoffed. “Please. I’ve been a third wheel clunking behind you two for years.” Silence fell between us, and Jesse’s face turned serious. “Your house?”
All I could do was shrug, looking everywhere but at my brother. I’d been trying hard not to think about that. Cole had been doing an amazing job distracting me, but orgasms and Little space wouldn’t work while we had company.
“How would you feel about a couple hours to yourself?” Cole asked. “I can take Lughead?—”
“Hey!”
Cole ignored the interjection. “And we can have a look at the damage.”
