Page 15 of Duke's Baby Deal
Abel turned to Adelaide. “You’re going to do it now?”
She stood and picked up her bag. “We’re going to talk about options. This is only one.”
Abel got up, then paused, looking down at us all. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. Or anything.” He leaned down and dropped a distracted kiss on Bax’s curls. “The pups will want to come in soon and see the baby.”
“I know. Give us fifteen minutes?”
“I can do that.” He looked like he was going to apologize again, but instead, he turned and walked out the door, moving like a man who’d been punched in the gut.
That was my fault. What a stupid fucking kid I was.
CHAPTER TWELVE
After Abel left, the atmosphere in the room got easier, and harder. Now there was no avoiding what was happening.
Adelaide stepped around the end of the bed to come sit on the edge beside me. “It’s still early enough, we can stop this pregnancy without you getting too sick. If you want more time to think about it, we can probably go another week before I can see any problems. Even then, we can still do it, but it would be a different procedure, and much more risky and uncomfortable.”
I shook my head numbly. What choice did I have? “No, I have to.”
She leaned forward and gave me a hug. “I know how hard this is,” she murmured, and rubbed my back before letting go so she could dig in her bag. “I have a tube of cream here. You’ll have to put it on your omega line every day, morning and night, so it won’t open. The things I’m going to give you will essentially convince your body that you’re six months along, and it’ll pinch off the placenta and try to go into labor.” She handed me the tube. It was cold, like I was starting to feel cold. “This will keep your omega line from separating. Half an inch of ointment at a time. Go put some on now, so it can start working.”
I did as I was told, walking blindly into the bathroom. The cream was a pale beige, and it glistened in the light of the lamps over the sink.
As I turned to go back out to the bedroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was white as a ghost, and my eyes stared spookily dark out of my face. I looked like something out of the cradle stories my Granmum used to tell me when I was small. A dead lover come back to haunt the man who’d abandoned him.
I turned away from the mirror and shambled back into the bedroom. By the looks Adelaide, Bax, and Holland gave me, I looked as bad to them as I did to myself.
Doesn’t matter. Keep moving. It’ll all be over soon.
Adelaide rubbed my arm as I passed her, and even Holland came to sit beside me on the bed. Bax laid his hand on my back, his touch light, though the support I felt behind it was strong.
“I have to give you a shot,” Adelaide told me in a quiet voice. “It’ll start the process off. Then I have some pills for you to take.” She filled a syringe from a small bottle containing a crystal clear liquid, and set it on the bedside table. Then she shook two pills out of a bottle, and held them out for me to take.
I stared at the pills in my hand and at the syringe sitting on the table beside Adelaide. The cream on my omega line felt slimy and gross and I wanted to wipe it off more than anything.
She reached out to put a hand on my arm. “There’s still time if you want to think about it some more.”
Did I want to? Should I? I had a feeling that if I thought about this much more, I’d chicken out, and then where would I be? Bax’s words came back to me, and I felt a surge of nausea. It was better this way, better to never have been born than to live a life like that.
My hand went to my belly, and I found myself apologizing to the little bundle of cells.I’m sorry I have to do this to you. But you wouldn’t like the life you’d have anyway.With tears blurring my vision, I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed.
Bax’s hand on my back began stroking slowly, as if he could take away my misery. I sobbed and clamped my hand over my mouth.
When Adelaide came toward me with the syringe, I cringed away from her. The cold of the alcohol on my shoulder felt like death, like I was death, coming for my baby.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t. Just couldn’t.
“No!” I pushed her away and ran for the bathroom, shoving my fingers down my throat as I went. I fell to my knees beside the toilet and gagged and choked myself until the pills plipped and plopped into the water, floating lazily down to the bottom.
I sagged to one side and rested my head against the cold wall. Sobs shook my shoulders, small and weak, and I sniffed and wiped my eyes.
Someone came through the door behind me, awkward shuffling footsteps. “Are you okay?” Bax said. He sat down in stages, his breath puffing out between his lips with each change of position.
He smiled at my horrified expression. “Just tired, sweetheart. That’s all.” He pulled me into a hug. “I sent Adelaide home. You don’t have to decide today.”
“No,” I told him. “I can’t do it, it’s not fair.” It wasn’t the baby’s fault. There had to be another way.
He stroked my hair and smiled in sympathy. “It’s a hard choice.”
