Page 13 of A Dragon's Miracle (Fires of Fate)
I watched him dumbfounded as he put the beef into his mouth and chewed. And then he swallowed bravely, all while keeping a blank face.
“It's not so bad like this,” he claimed. “You did a good job, really. I didn't think you could cook.” He smiled at me, and something in my brain stopped working.
“I love you,” I blurted out.
Ryan shot me a surprised look, and then he laughed again. Exactly the kind of reaction everyone wanted in response to their confession of love. He wasn't taking me seriously at all.
“It really wasn't that hard to eat,” Ryan said. “But I love you too, you goofball.”
“No,” I hurried to say. “I mean...” He gave me an expectant look and suddenly the words dried up on my tongue. What was I going to say?
You were going to let him know how you really feel about him.
Right. My plan hadn't exactly worked out, but I couldn't let myself be stopped by that. I swallowed, and tried again.
“I mean... I can't stop thinking about you.”
I wasn't sure exactly how I'd expected Ryan to react, but he just looked at me like he wasn't sure what to say, so I kept on talking to fill the silence. “I've felt like this ever since I first saw you. You remember, that time I ran into you at the market? I immediately knew that you were different, and I don't just mean because you're not a dragon, but... Something about you just struck me, you know? And then you told me you had a boyfriend, so... I guess I backed off, but I still thought you should know. I mean, it’s great being friends with you and all, but…“ I took a deep breath. “I like you. I like you a lot. And if you ever want to ditch your boyfriend, I'm here.”
Ryan looked at me with eyes as big as the moon, as if he wasn't quite sure whether to believe me or not. Ineededhim to believe me, though, so, without thinking much more about it, I leaned forward and did what I’d been wanting to do forever; I kissed him.
For several seconds, he didn't react at all. I was just about to pull back and apologize for assaulting him when he finally kissed me back and my heart just about stopped in my chest.
I'd imagined kissing him more times than I could count, but nothing came close to actually doing it, to feeling his lips against mine and knowing that he liked me back--at least enough to kiss me.
And maybe more than that?
I never got to test that theory before Ryan pulled back, too soon, looking flushed and confused and also as if he wanted to run. And I got the feeling that even though he'd kissed me back, I'd put him in a situation he didn't want to be in.
“We can't do this,” he said, voice breaking. “I can’t.”
And just like that my heart went from beating a hundred miles an hour to feeling like it was made of lead. “Because of your boyfriend?”
“I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.” I could tell that he meant it. He looked miserable, and I’d made him feel that way. It was that thought more than anything that punched me in the gut.
“I’msorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. That wasn’t right.” Who was I to kiss someone else’s boyfriend? And yet… I licked my lips, where Ryan’s taste still lingered. Kissing him hadn’tfeltwrong. At least not until he looked at me like he was about to cry because of something I’d done.
“It's okay,” Ryan said, avoiding my gaze. “It’s not your fault I’m… with someone.”
“I get it.” I backed off a bit to give him space. “We'll just be friends, okay? This doesn’t have to change anything.”
“Yeah.” He looked at me with an unsure smile, and just to make him feel better, I smiled back at him even as my heart broke into a million pieces at the thought of never being more than friends with him.
