Page 107 of The Omega's Alpha
We settled around the table, each of us with our hot drink of preference. I started the conversation by laying out the two journals I’d been able to find on the table. The covers were old and cracked, the leather gone white in places with use, dark in others with handling.
“I remember this,” Bram said, and picked up one of the journals. “It’s not English, though.”
“No,” I said, and picked up another one. “It’s the old pack language. It’s nearly died out now, as far as I know. Our great-aunt,” I nodded at Bax, “You remember Meemaw? She taught me those years when I looked after her.” I flipped the journal open and glanced at the pages, then closed it and put it back on the table. I didn’t need to read what was in it—it was all burned on my brain like the explosion of understanding that had laid the whole story clear to me.
“So there was something about the True Omega in them?” Bax mused, picking up the journal I’d dropped and leafing through it. He snorted. “And I thought I was getting off lucky not having to look after Meemaw.”
“It had its moments,” I informed him in a dry tone. “But it wasn’t all bad. She was just particular about how her house was kept.”
Bax arched an eyebrow at me, but never took his eyes off the pages of the journal. “Yeah. I was warned.” He flipped a page and tilted his head, as if changing the angle would wring meaning out of the text. “So, what did you figure out?”
“Well, I guess the biggest thing is that there’s no such thing as True Omega.”
Jaws dropped as they stared at me.
“What do you mean there’s no True Omega?” Jason demanded abruptly. “I’ve been running from that all my life.”
I shook my head. “You know how there are alphas who are stronger than other alphas. Our mates are all examples of that.” They all nodded. “I need to read more journals, but just going through these two, I’m really starting to think omegas are the same. There are strong omegas and weak omegas, just like there are strong alphas and weak alphas.” I paused to take a sip of coffee and to give that a chance to sink in.
“So I guess that makes me a weak one,” Bram said, unable to hide his disappointment, and his relief.
“I don’t know,” I told him. “We’ll need to find more omegas and talk to them, ones that are happy in their mating, that were allowed to choose their mate. I think this thing about not letting an omega choose their own mate was a way to distribute us more evenly about the packs when the Enclosure happened. They were willing to abandon that strength to have better coverage. But I think they stepped in a trap of their own making doing it.”
“What do you mean?” Cale asked, moving forward to perch on the edge of his chair. He seemed entirely focused on the book in my hand, as if it were suddenly going to start speaking the truths of the universe.
Though, when I thought about it, that was almost exactly what it was, maybe, going to do. At least, the truth as it pertained to omegas.
“I don’t know,” I had to confess. “I need more information, because it’s all normal to them, so they write about things like everyone already knows what they’re talking about. Which means they leave out most of the important stuff.” I made a face and put the journal down. “And just like you said in your notes here, Bram.” I shuffled through the notebooks to find the one filled with Bram’s handwriting. “Our elders now were born after the Enclosure and—here it is!” I turned the notebook around and held it out. “All their stories are passed down from their grandparents. I doubt we can put a lot of weight in what they remember. But from my own experience,” my stomach did an odd twirl and drop as I readied myself to confess what else I’d kept from them. “Quin says sometimes he can feel me when I’m not there. And since I went to the hospital and they fixed my problem, it’s…more. Like I can push and pull on him, ease his stress when he gets frazzled with work, help him sleep, help him stay awake.” I paused for a mouthful of juice to moisten my suddenly dry mouth. “I can do it with the pups too.”
Jason looked thoughtful. “Mac says the alphas find me very soothing to be around.” He frowned and leaned back in his seat. “Maybe I’m not a strong one either,” he said after a moment, looking in Bram’s direction.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I blurted and hauled myself up off the couch to pace the room. “It’s not about strength. Well, not entirely. Some of it has to be about use. And a couple of things in the journal make me think that it has something to do with having a mate you feel connected to.” I stopped in front of them. “Both Abel and Quin have a temper. I haven’t noticed Duke having one. Or Mac, for that matter. But for damn sure they love us. And they’re all strong Alphas.”
“Mac has a temper,” Jason said mildly. “He just doesn’t believe in dumping it on anyone.”
“Jason,” Bax said, his tone a warning.
I turned and met Jason’s eyes. “Then what do you think is the explanation?” I raised my eyebrows and watched him until his eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open.
“You think I’m doing something all the time.”
“You did mention that Mac says they find you restful,” Cale reminded him. “What was it like when you were hiding in the human world?”
Jason’s brow furrowed again and his gaze went distant. “I don’t know. I always thought it was just…him.” The look in his eyes sharpened again and he turned back to me. “We need to find out more.” Jason and Bax reached for the notebook at the same time, but Bax let his hand drop with an understanding glance toward Jason. Jason scanned down the page, realized that Bram had been right, and let the notebook fall back onto the table. “So, what do we do now?”
I looked up at Bax. “I think we need to make more efforts to find the old journals, if they still exist.”
“There’s still that human at the university. Or maybe he’s retired now,” Bram put in before Bax could speak.
“I spoke to him. He said he didn’t have anything more than what he loaned me, but I wonder if he even knew what he had.” The baby stretched and I paused for a moment to enjoy it. “I can try him again. If Quin will let me out of the enclave.” We’d had the next best thing to a fight when he’d forbidden me from going outside walls once my pregnant state had become too obvious to hide. I’d only agreed to it in the end because he did have some good points, though I made him take back the forbid—because we’d already decided that I wasn’t his property, regardless of pack law—but I did have to admit that he was right about the risks of going out into human society with a bellyful of pup. “Or maybe Quin can talk to him.”
Bram flipped open one of the journals and sighed. “I wish I could read this.”
“I’ll teach you,” I offered. I’d been thinking, since I’d started translating the old writings, that we should do more to save our language. If it could be saved. I dearly hoped I wasn’t the last person alive who spoke it.
“Can you teach me too?” Cale asked.
“I don’t see why not.” I looked over at Bax. “Beau took over looking after her when I was betrothed the first time. I’d like to invite him to come here and see if she started teaching it to him too, but he’d only be sixteen now and I don’t know if his parents would let him. Still, I think I’ll ask Quin to extend the invitation and we’ll have to wait and see.”
