Page 77 of A Baby for the Firefighter
“I get you.” Shane grinned. “I just like to tease.”
I flopped on the couch beside him, my expression mirroring his. “It was a good trip.” Even if that first night had very nearly turned into a disaster.
“Yeah, it was a good idea to get out,” Shane agreed. “Really gave me room to breathe and to think about a few things. Like whether it actually matters how I make my money when I have the kids to focus on. It was so good to see Conner laugh this morning, you know? I want to take him out more often. Maybe a less demanding job would give me more time for that.”
“So, you’re going to sell?” I asked.
“I’m thinking about it, at least.”
“That’s good. I mean, I’m sure you’ll do what’s right.”
“Yeah.” He leaned back. “And if I do sell you can go back to being a firefighter full time, too.”
I swallowed. “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that…” I stopped because even though I’d told Griff, I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell anyone else. I was a firefighter. That was how people saw me. It was how I saw myself as well. For the longest part of my life, it was all I’d wanted to be. But how could I be a firefighter now when I didn’t feel like I could protect anyone anymore? I knew in reality I’d only failed to saveoneperson, but it was hard to live with the certainty that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t save everyone every time. I’d always known that, of course, butexperiencingit changed what I was willing to accept.
“What do you mean?” Shane prompted, looking at me curiously.
“Nothing,” I said, and then I changed the topic to throw him off. “I have some big news, though.”
“Yeah? Good news?”
The question made the corner of my lips tug up. Griff had called it good news, and I thought so too. “Yeah, it’s good.” I let the smile take over my face. “Griff’s pregnant.”
Shane’s eyes went wide. “Griff’s what? When did that happen?”
“Do you really want all the details of when and how it happened?”
“Oh, I guess not.” He made a face. “Spare me.”
“You got it.”
Shane was quiet for a moment, probably churning this new information over in his head. “So you’re going to be a dad, huh?”
“Yup.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Honestly?” I looked at him. “It’s pretty amazing.”
“That it is!” Shane’s lips broke into a grin. “I still remember when Conner was born like it was yesterday. And Mary.” A hint of pain flashed over his features, probably because the memory included Ron, but it was gone again before it could take hold. This grief would stay with him forever, but he was learning to get a hold on it.
“I’m looking forward to the birth,” I said, but I was also kind of glad that it was still a few months off. Griff and I needed time to prepare, both practically and mentally.
“Are you two going to move in together?” Shane asked.
Were we? “Probably? We haven’t talked about it. This is all still so new.”
“Yeah, I guess. Not that I want to kick you out or anything, but you should probably think about living together if you’re going to be raising a kid.”
Shane was right; I really needed to be thinking about that, didn't I? About Griff and me and our kid, and the future we were going to have together. I wanted Griff like I had never wanted another omega. The thought of moving in with him didn't scare me. The opposite, really, it excited me. I wanted Griff to be mine in every way possible. I looked forward to raising our child together, maybe even our children.
But it wasn't just our combined future that I needed to think about. I needed to think about my personal, professional future as well. Griff had suggested that I run away from my problems by resigning from my firefighting career. Could I really do that now that we were going to be parents?
If there'd ever been a time in my life that I needed to be a strong alpha, it was now.
“Dude, you look so serious,” Shane said. “What are you thinking about?”
I shook my head. “Just something I should have figured out a long time ago.” He couldn't help me with this. This was something I needed to figure out for myself.
