Page 44 of A Baby for the Firefighter
“Can I kiss you?” The question seemed to make him feel a bit awkward. “I mean… can Ijustkiss you?”
I understood. He wanted to know if he could kiss me without things escalating. If he could kiss me without me expecting more. But I was going to be true to my word. I was never going to pressure him, no matter how much I wanted him—anddamn, did I want him. “You can kiss me any time.”
Griff didn’t have to be told twice. He leaned up and pressed a kiss square on my lips, and his lips felt so nice on mine. All soft and sweet and inviting. And all the while his scent seemed to swirl all around me, tempting me to claim him for my own. I wasn’t going to, not yet, but it took every ounce of willpower I had to stick by that decision.
And then Griff completely pulled the rug from under my feet by rolling on his back and pulling me on top of himself. God, what was hedoing? I groaned. Having him underneath me felt so right in all the ways I couldn’t consider now. Did he even know what a tease he was being? Maybe not, because he slung his arms around my neck as if to keep me exactly where I was.
And he was hard.
Damn.
I felt his erection press into my leg, and heard him let out the sweetest little sound when I moved my leg up, effectively rubbing him. I had no idea what had gotten into him so suddenly, but it was sexy as hell.
And then he froze.
I knew that the spell was broken the moment he tensed, and I rolled off him before he could push himself to try to convince me otherwise. “That was nice,” I said, pretending like I didn’t have a raging boner screaming for attention. Griff had bitten off more than he could chew, and I was sure he already felt bad enough about that without me adding to his misery by demanding things he couldn’t give. “Want to sleep now?” I asked.
I waited for a long couple of seconds, but he didn’t say anything, still breathing hard.
“Hey,” I said, reaching out to stroke his hair. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll get there.” I only wished I knew what exactly he was so scared of. I’d been with virgins before, but none who reacted quite like that.
“I’m sorry,” he said eventually, breaking my heart a little with how miserable he sounded.
“Shhh. No need to apologize. Just sleep now. It’s been a long day.”
He sighed, but he didn’t argue. Good boy. I pulled him back into my arms to show him how not-mad I was and held him until he fell asleep finally. I had a lot of questions. There were things that we needed to talk about in the morning, but for now, I was just happy to have him resting. Everything else we could figure out another time. I hoped.
19
Griffin
The next morning, I woke up before Dean and carefully peeled myself out of his embrace to leave the bed. I couldn’t believe what a total tool I’d been the night before. Just kissing would have been fine. Why did I have to pull Dean on top of me?
Because I’d been so happy at the thought of him staying in Oceanport and instincts had taken over.
And then I hadn’t been able to deal with what I’d brought on myself.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Berating myself, I got some clothes to change into out of my dresser and walked out of the room, careful not to make any noise that could wake my boyfriend. I needed to take a shower and really wake up before I was ready to face the day—and him. I didn’t deserve him, really. He was so kind and gentle and patient. One day soon he would realize that I wasn’t worth the trouble, that he could do better—that he could find a boyfriend who actually wanted to have sex with him.
Not that I didn’t, I just… had some hang-ups.
In the bathroom, I stepped out of my pajamas and quickly entered the shower and turned on the water. I needed to distract myself from all these thoughts running through my head. They weren’t like me. The events of the last day had simply overwhelmed me, and my troubled love life topped it all off.
Why couldn’t I just be like all other omegas? IwantedDean. I’d been hard last night. I got hard now, simply thinking about it. Thinking about Dean and the hard planes of his chest, his masculine scent, the weight of his body pressing me into the mattress. Standing under the spray, I sighed and reached for myself, stroking up and down.
If I could just leave my fears behind for a moment, I knew exactly what I wanted to do to Dean, and what I wanted Dean to do to me. I wanted him deep inside of me. I’d never had a dick up my ass, no, but I was no stranger to penetration. I’d experimented. I wasn’t scared of it. The stretch felt nice, really, and it wasn’t so bad for omegas, or so I heard. I wanted to know what Dean would feel like inside of me.
I jerked myself a bit harder at that thought. God, I wanted that. Wanted him balls deep inside of me, the closest we could be. I wanted him to lose it because of me. I wanted to be the reason he came.
In my dirtiest fantasies, I was on my knees in front of him, his cock in my mouth, my nose pressed into his pubic hair, breathing in the scent of his arousal as my tongue made him lose his mind.
Yes, that was exactly what I wanted. So much so that I came at the thought of it, emptying myself on the shower tiles. I groaned as the hot water washed the evidence away.
Why could I fantasize about fucking Dean, but notdoit?
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