Page 67 of Legally Mated
He was probablyright.
Chapter54
IletCas know where I was going, in case anyone came looking for me, then packed up a week’s worth of clothing, my laptop, notebook, and Holland’s latest translation, because if he could unbend enough to let me go to Laine’s, I could at least read about our pack’s history. When I checked with Quin, he sent Edmund to drive me to the university, and from there, I walked to Laine’s, uncertain if I’d get kicked off the bus again if I tried. And to be honest, I wanted him to be gone before I got there. I didn’t want him to press me to go with him, didn’t want to have disappoint him. It felt like I disappointed him enough, because I didn’t fight harder to make humans accept me. And that was a guilt I was going to have to bear, because I had enough happening in my life right now without a battle on anotherfront.
I wastired.
The house was blissfully quiet when I let myself in. I punched the code for the alarm system, the tiny beeps like music in the silence, and flicked on the lights hidden around the raised ceiling. They gave off a warm golden glow, but left the room comfortably dim. I’d just gotten to the kitchen when my phone buzzed with a text fromLaine.
Wish you could have come. They were overbooked and I ended up in a room with a jacuzzi.And then an emoji that I assumed was supposed to belascivious.
I wouldn’t have been much use, I texted back.Do you mind if I stay at your place for a couple of days? Something for this constitutional thing, making a list of all the anti-shifter legislation.It was sort of true, but only by about ten percent. And I was already in his house, but this covered me in case his neighbors said anything. Not that I was going to go anywhere even if he said no—even with the pills, I was restless and missing him, wanting him in bed with me before I’d even made it there. It made me nervous, not knowing whether this was my usual missing him, or the start of the hormonalstorm.
Sure, no problem, his text came back, though I noticed a delay before he answered. Was that the networks being slow, or had he needed a moment to stop and think about it?Holland said itwasokay.
I’m glad. You think he’s comingaround?
I tried to be honest, and I ended up tempering my response down to,I don’t know. I’m being verycarefulhere.
Be careful when you’reouttoo.
Iwill.
He still felt guilty about the shooting, no matter what I said to him. And Holland frowned whenever Laine's name came up. To give Holland credit, though, it was more the kind of frown I saw on Cas's face when he was faced with a particularly knotty tax problem, not the kind of frown that Edmund sometimes gave Duke when he and Bram were in the middle of one of theirsquabbles.
Not for me, that life. I liked whatIhad.
I called my dealer again, but now the number was out of service. Damn. It was still only the middle of the afternoon, I could go downtown and see if I could find someone to sell me some, as little as the prospect enticed me. The question was--did I go with my tabs onornot?
It had been years since I'd had to go looking for a supply. I never need to take them often, just in the fall, but I’d gotten nervous since Jason’s arrival and started taking them in the spring as well. And I'd been dealing with this guy for years; he seemed like a fixture inmylife.
My quiet sniffing had turned up another couple of names, but I'd have to go well into the western end of the city to meet them—this was the only guy that would come this far east to deliver. And I wasn't crazy about walking alone into the less savory parts ofthecity.
I'm probably fine, it's still early. I could wait and ask Laine to go with me when he gets back.Or maybe not, as I tried to picture Mr. Super-Expensive-Suits walking past gangbangers andthieves.
Although, now that I thought about it, he probably had acquaintances down there. Maybe I should wait. Or not. I couldn’t afford to take thechance.
Dammit. I went to put my shoes back on, and pocketed my tabs, justincase.
Chapter55
Ishould have gone huntingmy pills sooner. My dealer, it turned out, was in jail, though it took me an hour to find that out. The guy who’d taken over his territory wasn’t carrying Rush and tried to sell me some junk that wouldn’t do anything for me. I blew the rest afternoon and the first half of the evening wandering around the west end trying to find the two guys who might sellthedrug.
Around seven, I caught up with one of them, a tall thin man with a Van Dyke beard and a well-fed look. He didn’t have it on him, but if I came back tomorrow, he’d make sure it was there. I just had to put down a deposit, to be sure I wasn’tacop.
Yeah, like I was going todothat.
There was still the other guy to try, but it was late, I had to get back across town to Laine’s, and curfew was getting closer every moment. It was one thing to be out with my tabs in my pocket, another thing entirely to be out after curfew with my tabs in my pocket. I wasn’t going to risk that with the Bar exam dangling in front of me like a fatrabbit.
I still had that lasthalfpill.
Sleep eluded me, though, that night. I twisted restlessly in the sheets on Laine’s bed until I’d pulled them right off the mattress. And it was with a certain ironic horror that I realized I should have ignored my worries and gone looking for that other dealer. The half pills weren’t enough, or maybe my body was so eager to fulfill its biological destiny that it was ignoring the drug washing about mysystem.
It wasn’t just missing Laine and nerves about Holland and Quin knowing what I was. It was a heat. A damn heat, and it felt like all the ones I’d denied over the years had come home to roost. I could barely clean up after myself for my restless pacing and…otheractivities.
This wasappalling.
Obviously I couldn't go out to chase down the pills. I realized with horror that I'd likely been in heat the whole time I'd been taking the damn things and that it was dropping the dose that had left me like this. I paced about the house cursing my biology until the thought hit me that if I hadn't cut that last pill in half and tapered everything off the past couple of days, the levels of the drug would have dropped below the point of effectiveness while I was still at Mercy Hills. The room spun about me until I put my head down between my knees and made myself take deep, even breaths. Lysoon, but that wasclose.
