Page 68 of Legally Mated
I hardly remembered anything about heats, beyond knowing the length of them and how many there were in a season. Would it get any worse than this? I needed mypills!
Holland. Holland would know. Would he be busy now? I hoped not. With shaking hands, I dug out my phone and called him, walking briskly around the kitchen island in an attempt to do anything but touchmyself.
The call went to voicemail, and I left a hasty, panicked message that probably didn't make any sense, but another wave of want was hitting and I wanted to weep for the frustration and terrible power of it. How did omegas deal with this, knowing it was comingeveryyear?
Holland called back while I was in the shower, attempting to cool the need that heated my body, and when I called him back he must have been working again, because it went to voicemail again. I turned on the television and did my best to watch the news and not think about Laine and Laine's bed, and the things we'd done inthatbed.
I'd just finished raiding the liquor cabinet when Holland and I finallyconnected.
"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice sharp withconcern.
"It came last night and I’ve been crazy ever since. I can't do this, I can't, it's just..." Here I was, a man of education, of discourse, a fucking lawyer in all but one piece of paper, and what did I sound like? A twelve year old in the throes of their first broken relationship. It didn’t help that this was the room where Laine and I had gotten drunk that first time, on margaritas of allthings.
"Shh, it's okay. It's always worse the first couple of days, you'll be fine. Don't go outside, keep yourself distracted." Then, in a lower tone, "I got that thing you were asking for. I'm home again day after tomorrow--can you last until then? I'll have whoever picks me up swing by Laine's before wegohome."
"Yeah." I'd have to. At least Laine was away until then, if not longer. I prayed it would be longer. "Thank you. I don't know whatI'ddo."
"We're pack." I could almost hear a smile in Holland's voice. "Do you need some distraction? I'm off this afternoon, Zane and Seosamh I were going to go to the Park and play. And then I thought I'd go for a walk down to this little shop one of the other models recommended. They make bath products, shampoo. Things that smell good. You could come along.Virtually."
There was an emphasis on the last words and I wasn't certain if he was hinting at a way to cover up the smell of the drugs he was bringing back or if this was a subtle change of mind about Laine, as if he'd had time to think about it some more now that he was away from the day to day demands of the pack. "You'll use up all your data,"Isaid.
"That's for your Alpha's Mate to worry about. Just make sure your phone will work through the wifi--I might be able to cover my data, but I don't know how I'd explainyours."
"All right. Thank you." I put as much gratitude as I could into the words, distracted as I was by the things my body was demanding. "How do you do this every year?" I asked, my voice embarrassinglywhiny.
"How have you not, at least once?" Holland asked. His tone was gentle, with a hint of exasperationinit.
"I've been taking pills every fall since I was nine," I said, and fell back on the couch. My free hand went automatically the zipper of my jeans, and I tore it away with a snarl of frustration.That doesn't help.Reminding myself of it didn't either. "I've only really had one, and it was because the pills were shit." And now my language, usually so measured around the leaders of my pack, was going to pieces too. Fuck this all to theBarrens.
Holland made a low sound, but didn't explain it. "I'll call you when we get to the park. Can you last until then, or do you want me to ask Bax to come sit with you? Sometimes company helps, if its anotheromega."
"No, I'll be fine." Didn't really feel like it, but he'd done so much for me in this situation already, without question, that I wasn't going to prey upon his time any more than I had to. Besides, Bax would be at least an hour getting here and would he bring the pups? And how would he explain that? Better to suffer alone until tomorrow, than to risk further lies getting blown open. "Thank you, Holland," I said again, with as much gratitude as I could cram into thewords.
"You're welcome," he said, and this time, I was sure of the smile in hiswords.
Chapter56
Iwatchedmovies and tried not to think about things until Holland called me back and I took what had to be the most expensive hour-long tour of Central Park and a tiny shop packed to the roof with bottles and jars and odd-shaped lumps of soap. But it helped, having someone to talk to, and he even bought me some shampoo that he said I would like the smell of, and soap and a cologne to match. "It's very strongly scented, though. You'll have to be careful how much you put on," he said, his voice heavy withhints.
The young woman behind the counter packed everything into a couple of paper bags and handed them across the counter to Holland. I heard him thank her, and watched as the color rose up in her cheeks. It was funny to watch the humans respond to him, and unnerving too. I wondered how much of that was just Holland, and how much was the effect of whatever this omega power that they kept hinting at was. I'd read just enough in that journal while I'd been in hospital and then stuck in bed to suspect that, once upon a time, my birth might have been a cause for--if not rejoicing, at least happiness that a healthy baby hadbeenborn.
Food. It was near dinner time and I'd used up enough of Holland's data. I thanked him, and let him go back to Zane, and then started to rummage through the kitchen for something quick and easy to make. I was feeling better now, less anxious, more in control. Was it the hormones fading, or was just knowing I'd have my pills tomorrow enough to let me handle this all much easier? Whatever, I washungrynow.
A key turned in the lock and footsteps, then a thump, sounded in the front hallway. "Hello?"
Laine.
Oh,fuck.
I spun on my heels when he walked in. This wasso...not.
"I got done early," he said, walking toward me while I tried to inch away from him around the kitchen island. "What's wrong?" he asked, and stopped wherehewas.
He looked good, amazing, like the sleek, predatory lawyer he was, his suit perfectly fitted and just the right shade of blue to complement his skin and his eyes. His mouth, wide and mobile, was compressed tightly as he watched me try to avoid him.Dammit, I keep fucking this up. Lady Lysoonka, aren’t you supposed to help confused lovers? How about a littlemagichere?
"Nothing," I said. "I'm all over fish." I'd decided to try to make myself like salmon again, for his sake. Why, I didn't know. As much as we both wanted it, where was the future between our species at the moment? But looking at him now, all I could seewasa future, the two of us working together, living together, and it made me even more determined to have these laws struck, so I could leave the enclave and go to himforgood.
Holy Mother of Wolves, where had that thought come from? It was the heat, that was all. And then, as if thinking of it had thrown fuel on the fire, the desire and the want rose up in me again with a fury that would have been frightening if it hadn't overwhelmed all other emotions. I forgot about the fish, forgot everything, and reached for him, pulling him hard against my body. "I need to take a shower," I said as I jammed my mouth against his, ignoring the fact that his beautiful suit would now smell like raw salmon. "You're going to smell like mydinner."
