Page 81 of The Omega's Secret Baby
He stopped walking and shook his head. “My brother just said something stupid. Like that you wanted everyone to know how this baby was going to be legitimate. Like that was why you proposed to me.”
“Is that really what you think?” I squeezed his hand. “I love you, Eli. I thought you knew that.”
“I do! But you have to agree the timing was pretty perfect. What with you proposing to me right after you found out about the baby.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I’m not going to deny that hearing about the baby made me want to marry youeven more.But it was not the only reason I proposed. I spent a long time living in a loveless marriage. Trust me. I would never voluntarily do that again. The reason I want to marry you is because you make me smile, because when I'm with you I feel like everything fits, like everything is going to be all right and the world is beautiful. Because when I'm not with you I miss you so much it hurts.Thatis why I want to marry you.” I gazed into Eli's eyes, willing him to believe me. He needed to know that I didn't want to marry him for one single reason but for a million of them.
Eli grabbed both of my hands and returned my gaze. There was such longing in his eyes, but he didn't seem entirely convinced yet. “So what you're saying is that it doesn't matter to you when we get married? If we’re not getting married because of the baby the date should not matter, right?”
I bit my teeth together. He had me there. No, the baby wasn't the only reason I wanted to get married, but it was included in my reasons. Getting married before it was born would just make so many things so much easier. It would bring us a step closer to gaining the acceptance of my family. I knew that didn't matter to Eli, but it still mattered to me. But how could I tell him that now without him taking it the wrong way? I just had to try. “Of course we can get married whenever we want, but the sooner we do it the better. Don't you think so?”
“It really doesn't matter to me if we get married now or in a year. All that matters to me is that we're together.”
“You're right.” I freed one of my hands to run it through his soft hair. “We're always going to be together.” I rested my forehead against his. “But don't you see that marrying sooner rather than later could make some things a bit easier?”
“You really are thinking about the baby's legitimacy, aren't you?” Eli took a step back. “I didn't want to believe that my brother's right, but this actually matters to you.”
“Is that really such a bad thing? I want to show my family that I'm being serious. I want them to accept this baby, and I want them to accept Jake. What's wrong with that?”
Eli shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I just don’t think it’s going to happen.” He sighed. “A DNA test isn’t going to help. A marriage isn’t going to help. Your family loves to look down on people like me, and once you marry me, they’ll look down on you too. That’s all that’s going to happen. I wish it was different, but it isn’t. And it scares me that you still can’t see that. If you want to please your family, you can’t marry me.”
We hadn’t talked about the incident involving Jake and my mother since the day it had happened, but it seemed like it was still on Eli’s mind. Why else would he get so upset? “You don’t know that nothing is going to help until we try. I’m not going to let them talk to Jake like that again. I promise. You just have to give me a chance to make it work.”
“And what if it never works?” Eli burst out. “Will you still be happy then? If you can’t fulfill your family’s expectations? If they never accept Jake? Or the baby I’m carrying right now?”
“That’s not—”
“Don’t tell me it’s not going to happen, because there’s a very real possibility that it will. And I honestly don’t know what you’ll do then. That’s the problem here.”
“I’ll—”
“No,” Eli cut me off. He looked like he was about to cry and the sight tore at my heartstrings. “Don’t tell me now. Please. Think about it.” He took a deep breath. “Do you know I got a letter in the mail this morning?”
“A letter?” That was a sudden change of topic.
“Yeah.” He sniffed. “A reply to the college application I sent out. They accepted me.” He said it with a smile, even though his voice sounded sad. “I’m not going to go, because I have to put my kids first. That’s what it means to be a good omega. To be a good parent. I have my priorities. And you really need to think about yours.”
His news left me speechless. I so wanted him to go. He was smart, he’d worked hard, and he deserved it.
But life didn’t always work like that, did it?
Eli stepped up to me and placed a kiss on my lips, then he withdrew again far too quickly, before I could close my arms around him. “Please think about it all,” he said.
And then he walked away from me.
* * *
Ireturnedhome with a heavy heart.Think, he’d said. Ihadthought about it all. I was going to marry the man I loved and then we were going to raise our children together and live happily ever after. That was the general plan.
Maybe Eli was right, and it wasn’t detailed enough. I had no idea how my family fit into my plans. I wanted to keep all doors open for my kids, but Eli seemed to think that plan was doomed from the start.
I rubbed my face, walking up the stairs, until I heard my mother’s shrieking voice behind me. “Matthew Joseph Lowell!” she shouted.
Full name? Great, somebody else who wasn’t happy with me today. Trying hard not to sigh, I turned around to her. “Mother?” At least she had started talking regularly again.
“You come down here right this second and tell me what that… thatthingin the newspaper was about!”
So she’d read the paper. Lovely. She’d never done that while Father was alive. And it wasn’t that I wanted tohidemy engagement from her, but this wasn’t necessarily the way I’d planned for to find out about it. “Elias Stevens and I got engaged,” I told her as calmly as I could.
