Page 21 of A Baby for Christmas
"Okay. Thankyou."
Ben hung up, and I hurried to finish my shopping and get to him. He shouldn't be alone while his dog was so sick. I stowed my groceries in my bag pack and jumped on my bike. Thankfully, Ben didn't live far from the supermarket. Not that anything in this small town was ever really faraway.
When I got to his place, he was already waiting by the front door, sitting on the front steps of his porch, head in his hands. Immediately, my heart went out to him. I hadn't seen my friend like this in a long time. When I parked the bike, he lookedup.
"That was fast!" hesaid.
"I probably broke a few traffic rules getting here," I joked, approaching him. "Wanna head inside?" The temperatures were rising lately, but it still wasn't warm enough to be sitting outside for extended periods of time. Especially now that the sun was setting. Besides, the neighbors didn't need to see him break down. It was enough thatmyreputation wasruined.
"Yeah. I guess we can dothat."
"Sure we can." Taking his hand, I led him into the living room. "You want to tell me what happened?" I asked as we sat down, side byside.
"I should have taken him inyesterday.I feel terrible. This is all myfault."
"Is that what the vet said?" I stroked my thumb over the back of his hand, trying to ground him. It was what he would have done for me. We took care of each other, it's what wedid.
"No, he didn't say that. Not in so many words." Ben sighed. "It's parvo, Robin. Can you believe it's parvo? I got him vaccinated against that shit. Apparently that doesn't always help. I need to sanitize this place before Cooper comesback."
"I'll help you," I promised. I didn't really know whatparvowas, but it sounded bad. "What else did the vetsay?"
"He said that..." Ben's voice broke. Instinctively, I wrapped an arm around hisshoulder.
"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't wantto."
He shook his head. "No. You deserve to know. You love Coopertoo."
I did, but it broke my heart to see Ben hurt. Rubbing his back, I frantically searched my mind for ways to make him feel better. When we were kids, I'd mostly taken care of his physical scrapes and bruises. He rarely opened up emotionally. If I were to sit down and count, he'd really only done it twice while we were still in school. The first time he'd broken down on me, telling me how he couldn't stand to see his omega dad get hurt anymore... that was also the first time I kissedhim.
Thathad worked to distract him. But I couldn't kiss himnow.
Before I could come to a decision about what to do, Ben spoke on. "The vet said if he makes it through the night, he'll probably be fine, but it's a fifty-fiftything."
I swallowed. That was even worse than I'd expected when Ben mentioned Cooper staying with the vet. "I'm so sorry. I'm sure he'll be fine." I pressed a kiss to the side of Ben's forehead. The best I could do rightnow.
Ben only stared blankly at nothing in particular. "I thought I could maybe..." he started and stoppedagain.
"You thought you could what, sunshine?" I asked, curling a finger in the hair in the nape of his neck. The old pet name slipped off my tongue before I noticed. Oh well. Just because we weren't a couple anymore didn't mean I didn't still love him. This was not the time to freak out over little things likethat.
"I thought I could..." He shook his head and sat up straight, finally looking at me. "I thought maybe I could be a parent after all, but I can't even parent a fucking dog. What if it was our baby, Robin? What if I killed our baby?" Ben's voice shook and my heart shattered into so many pieces I was afraid I'd never be able to put it back togetheragain.
"Oh, Ben. You would never do that." I threw my arms around his neck and burrowed into his shoulder. "If it was our baby, you would do whatever you could to keep him safe. The same as you're doing for Cooper. He got sick, but that's not your fault. You took him to the vet, didn't you? You gave him a chance." I kissed his hair. "Don't you know you're the only person I would trust one hundred percent with my baby?" It was the truth. Ben was the most caring alpha I knew. I only wished he could seethat.
"You meanit?"
I'd never seen Ben so vulnerable. The sight almost made me want to cry. Damn pregnancy hormones. "Of course I do." I took his hand and placed it on my belly. "Can you feel him move? Our Christmas miracle. That's your kid. If you wanthim."
Ben looked as if he was about to choke up. He made as if to withdraw his hand, but I strengthened my grip. The baby moved, and Ben's eyes grew wide. At this stage, whatever he felt with his hand on my belly must have been pretty faint, but it was enough to shock him anyway. I gave him a smile. "Incredible, isn't it? And growing stronger every day. This kid is not as fragile as you might think. He's me and you, and you know what weare?"
Ben shook his head, still speechless, his eyes fixed onmine.
"We're survivors. And you know what we'renot?"
Another shake of the head. I gave him a quick kiss, just enough to satisfy that craving for connection in me. "We're not, and we will never be, our parents. I could never walk away from my baby." The thought alone made my skin crawl in the worst way. "And you'll never lay a finger on yours. Orme."
"You can't know that," Ben said, even though he sounded like he wanted nothing more than to believeme.
I laid a finger on his lips. "Of course I know. Because I knowyou.You're the kid who tried to fold a thousand paper cranes for the new kid in middle school. You couldn't hurtanyone." I kissed him again, longer this time, feeling like I could finally reach that part of him he'd kept hidden from me and the rest of the world before. I saw the scared boy behind the alpha who constantly worried about the wellbeing of everyone heloved.
