Page 23 of A Baby for Christmas
His eyes were so sincere as he said that I didn't know how to respond. I glanced down at the paper in my hands, a million thoughts rushing through my mind all at once. Robin believed in a happy ending for me? "Then why don't you believe in a happy ending for yourself?" The words came pouring out of me before I could hold themback.
My friend's eyebrows climbed up his forehead. "What are you talkingabout?"
It was too late to take a step back now, wasn't it? Well, I didn't want to anyway. "You date all these assholes who don't treat you well and then once it all falls apart you blame yourself like you somehow deserve all that shit." My frustration came bursting out at me. I hated having to watch Robin do this to himself over and over again. Maybe my home life had damaged me, but I wasn’t the only one who needed to let go of thepast.
Robin only stared at me. "I don’t do it on purpose you know," he said finally, quietly. "Don’t you think I’d love to be in a relationship with someone kind? A relationship thatlasts? It’s not like I seek out assholes, it’sjust…"
"You’re just attracted to the wrong kind ofpeople?"
He licked his lips and stared down at his hands. "Not all people I like arebad."
Was he talking about me? He had to be, the way he refused to meet my gaze. "Give me another chance, Robin." More than anything, I wanted to be his happy ending. I hadn't trusted myself to be that for him before, but if we could help carry each other'sbaggage...
Robin looked at me for only a moment, but long enough that I could see the longing in his eyes. Hewantedto say yes. When he got up from the bed instead, I nearly grabbed his arm to keep him with me. "I need to get some air," he said, running his hand through his hair before leaving me alone in theroom.
15
Robin
Leaving my bedroom,I stepped into the bathroom to splash some water in my face. Next I got my bottle of aftershave from the bathroom cabinet just because I needed to get Ben's smell out of my nose. God, I wanted him. All of my omega instincts screamed at me to wrap myself around him and make both our sadness go away. But it wasn't that simple, was it? I'd meant what I’d told Ben the day before. I couldn't go through another break-up with him. Even now, all the guys I dated felt like rebounds. Men I fucked just to fill that hole in myheart.
Did I really end up with these guys because I didn't believe that I deserved a happy ending? How could that be when I'd spent my whole life searching for it? Ben wasn't right about everything. Aaron hadn't broken up with me because he was an asshole or anything. That had been entirely on me, because I hadn't been brave enough to tell him about the pregnancyearlier.
Sighing to myself, I put the aftershaveback.
It was then that my bottle of prenatal vitamins caught my eye. I'd bought and placed it there the weekend before Aaron had broken up with me. He'd been over at my place thatSunday.
Could he have seen the vitamins? Shit, he'd spent a lot of time in the bathroom that day, hadn't he? I bit my teeth together. The more I thought about it, the more the pieces fit together. But why hadn't he just asked me about the damn pills when he found them? Was he so mad that I was hiding stuff from him that he figured he could strike back by ruining myreputation?
If so, Ben was right. The man really was a grade A asshole. And I'd fallen for the asshole, the way I always did. Because I didn't believe that I deserved better, not really. Unconsciously, I put my hand on my belly. Mybabydefinitely deserved better than to see his daddy date assholes. Ben didn't want to turn into his parents.Ididn't want to turn into his parents either. We were on the same page there, weren'twe?
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, trying to picture the happy ending I wanted for myself and my baby. Try as I might, I could not come up with any scenario that did not have Ben init.
After reaching this realization, I took the next logical step. I went back to my bedroom. Ben was still sitting there, quietly watching my every move as I picked up the boxes of cranes and stacked them by the door. I even took the one he was holding, placed it on my desk. I needed my bed and his handsfree.
"What—" Benstarted.
I put my mouth to his lips—always the most effective way to shut him up and make a statement at the same time. In this case, the statement I was trying to make should have been pretty clear,too.
It didn't take Ben long to figure it out. In nearly no time at all, he'd pulled me down into his lap, one hand on my back, one in my hair. I gave a happy sigh, breathing his scent into my lungs. I wanted to roll in it like a puppy in mud. Get it all over me to let everyone know exactly who I belonged to. Who I'dalwaysbelonged to, deepdown.
"Robin..." Ben's eyes searched my face as if looking for any sort of sign I wasn't sure about what I wasdoing.
I pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You wanted a chance, you've gotit."
"You mean it?" There was so much hope in Ben's eyes, my heart beat faster. He was laying himself bare before me. Wasn't that all I'dwanted?
"Of course I mean it. I wouldn't mess with you likethat."
"I wouldn't either." Ben pressed a short kiss on mylips.
A smile took over my face. "I know that." Ben would never hurt me. Not intentionally anyway. That set him apart from the assholes I'd dated. "I've thought about this, and you're right. I do deserve a happy ending, but I don't want it if it's not withyou."
Ben gave me a long look, and then he kissed me again. "I feel the same way," he said in the brief time between one kiss and the next. It was like our mouths were glued to each other, or rather, like there was some sort of magnetic pull that kept bringing us together again the moment one of us tried to part. I didn't mind, not at all. Kissing Ben was the best thing in theworld.
Well, maybe not the only best thing. It shared that top spot with some other activities. R-ratedactivities.
"What about the cranes?" Ben managed to get out after anotherminute.
