Page 26 of The Dragon's Perfect Omega
"I'm your best friend," she added. "You hide it well, but there's been... hints over the years."
"What hints?"
"It doesn't happen often, but sometimes, when you think no one's looking, you'll stare at a man's butt as he walks by. When asked, you can't list any female celebrities you like and when they have naked pictures going around the internet, you're not even interested."
"It wouldn't be decent to look at them," I insisted. "And I like tons of female celebrities."
"But not for the way they look. C'mon, Zim. I'm not going to tell anyone. You can confide in me."
"How can I tell you I'm gay when I'm your boyfriend?"
"How can younottell me?" she gave back. It was the first time that night I detected a hint of anger in her voice. "How can you keep something like that from me?"
What to say to that? I didn't know. She was right, of course. I wasn't being fair to her. "I'm so sorry," I said on an exhale. When I closed my eyes, I felt like the floor was crumbling beneath me, falling away bit by bit, leaving me suspended in a strange sort of non-reality. How could any of this be real? A few days ago, I'd known exactly where my life was headed, now I was drowning in the ashes of my plans.
"So it's true."
"It is," I said through the bitter taste at the back of my mouth. I wasn't being fair to Kathy, andlifewasn't being fair to me. Why had I been born like this? I never wanted to feel this attraction to men. It was justthere.After what happened between me and Lowen, I couldn't deny how powerful it was. I'd never be able to deny it again. I could never go back to how things were.
"What are you going to do?" Kathy asked after a moment of quiet.
"I... need to leave for a bit." The moment I said the words, I knew they were true. I couldn'tnottake Lowen up on his invitation. The part of me that wanted to please everyone around me was still arguing, but it couldn't win. The part of me that yearned to be with my dragon again was much stronger.
My dragon?
Had I really just thought that?
"Are you going to tell your parents?" Kathy sounded almost concerned for me. She was just way too nice. She was going to be the perfect partner for someone someday. That someone just wasn't going to be me. Something tightened in my throat.
With some effort I managed to squeeze out the words, "Not yet. Please don't—"
"I won't. But you have to tell them soon."
"I know." I just wasn't ready for that confrontation yet. "They're going to disown me."
"You don't know that," Kathy said, but she didn't sound convincing at all. Of course not. She knew my parents and her own parents and everyone here. They all thought the same.
"I do know."
That was the reason I'd tried so hard not to be like this.
11
Lowen
My mother cameto the door to greet me as soon as I stepped inside. "Oh, you're home!"
"Yeah, I am." I'd told her what plane I was taking, so where this surprise was coming from, I wasn't sure. "Did you not get my message?"
"I did." One of her hands touched her hair. "I just..." She licked her lips. Considering she was dragon, my mother had always been on the lighter side, her appearance almost frail. I knew she had a lot more strength than she let on, but right now, she was displaying none of that. What had happened?
"Is something wrong, Mom?"
"There's..." She exhaled and took my arm to lead me in the direction of our sitting room. "We need to talk. I wish your dad was home for this."
What was so pressing that she couldn't wait for my father to return for the solstice the following week? He worked at the embassy over in human territory, but he always came home for special occasions. "What's going on?" I asked as my mother showed me to one of the arm chairs in our sparsely furnished sitting room. Not one of the most traditional families, we hardly used this room, really. Something had to be really weighing on my mother's mind for her to want to talk here.
"We should have had this talk a long time ago," she said, lowering herself in the chair opposite me. Her hand was on the way to her hair again, but stopped in mid-air. She straightened, taking on a more resolved pose. She looked more like the woman I knew now. "You remember how you've heard people mock me for only having one child?"
