Page 72 of The Dragon's Perfect Omega
If only I could find the right vision. Recently, it had become difficult to see anything at all. I'd get a glimpse, a flash of an image, and then nothing. It was as if my mind rebelled. Maybe I needed to listen to Zim when he said I needed more rest. There was hardly any magic left in my body; I was running dry.
But I got the feeling that wasn't even the problem. Or at least, not the biggest problem.
The biggest problem was how fucking tired I was of seeing my mate die in my visions. I couldn't keep going back to that. I couldn't bear it.
In the stark hospital light, I studied my mate again. "I can't see you die anymore," I whispered, knowing that he couldn't hear me. I ran a hand back through my hair, nearly pulling at it. What sort of wimp was I, that I couldn't face my visions to save him?
The high priestess had said I needed faith.
But faith in what?
I bit my teeth together.
I’d tried praying for an hour before burning the dragonshine, but that hadn’t helped any. Maybe the high priestess was wrong and faith in the Gods wasn’t what was needed here. Maybe I needed to have faith in Zim, in myself, in the fact that we could pull through.
Every time I meditated, there was a part of me that expected to see Zim die. How could I see any other vision when I was going into it with that mindset?
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes again.
I knew now what I needed to do. I had to free my mind from the thoughts of Zim dying. I had to envision a future where we were together. He and I and the children. I wanted that with an intensity that almost scared me. I'd had goals in life before, but I'd never felt as strongly about anything as I felt about this. It was weird because I'd never thought I'd settle down, but then I met Zim and everything changed. He changed me, my priorities, what I wanted from my future.
From the depth of my mind, I conjured an image of Zim and me, taking the twins home. He was holding one of the babies to his chest, while I carried the other one. Both of them were asleep, but they looked happy, healthy.
Was that my imagination or part of a vision?
I couldn't tell, but I desperately hoped for the latter.
Seeing as it was the only thing I had to go on, I focused on the image. I didn't have any of the dragonshine with me in the hospital room, but I didn't need it now. The scare my mate had just given me was incentive enough to do my best. Drawing on what little magic I had left flowing through my veins, I tried to delve deeper into the vision—if it was one.
After a few minutes, I forget everything around me. How uncomfortable the hospital chair was. How my muscles ached from sitting in it. The footsteps of the nurse echoing in the hall outside. All of that ceased to matter. The only thing I could still see was the image of me and my mate and our babies, and the only thing I heard was Zim's steady breathing, keeping me going, reminding me what I was fighting for.
I couldn't say how long I sat there, trying to pull up a vision, but eventually, the image in my mind's eye started to change.
Please let this be the vision I need.
Internally, I prayed to the powers that be as the new vision started to play inside of my head. Most of the ones I had were crystal clear, HD quality, but this one was almost grainy, like a video streamed on a slow internet connection. Had I exhausted too much of my magic resources? That wasn't a big deal, though, they could be replenished with a bit of rest. All that mattered now was figuring out what this vision was showing me.
I saw myself, but I wasn't at the hospital anymore. No, I was back home, in the kitchen, with the dragonshine in my hand. What was I doing with it? Making a tea? But why would I?
It was too bad that these visions never came with footnotes or subtitles to explain things as they were happening.
Once the tea was brewed, I chugged it back almost in one go. Setting down the mug, I made a face. Guess dragonshine tea wasn't super delicious, then. Something to look forward too. I watched myself take another one of the golden flowers and burn it with fire from my mouth. Wait, how would I do that? I'd never been able to spew fire in my human form. Few dragons could. Would drinking that tea power me up somehow?
The ashes from the burned plant fell into the mug I'd just been drinking from. Somehow, that seemed planned because now I poured more hot water into the cup, basically making another tea. My stomach clenched just at the sight. No way could that taste good.
But it appeared I wasn't going to be the one drinking it. No, I left the kitchen with the mug and took it up the stairs, to the bedroom. To my mate.
So Zim had to drink this stuff?
Apparently, yes.
I almost felt kind of sorry for him, but then the vision faded out and when I opened my eyes again, I was left with nothing but the stark white of the hospital room and a pounding headache caused by magic overuse.
But I knew what I had to do now.
* * *
When Zimand I returned home the next day, I helped him settle in the bedroom, and then I searched the shelf for my stash of dried dragonshine.
