Page 37 of Omega's Flight
M y womb was cramping, as it had been off and on all day, but now it felt worse. Like it wasn't just grumbly body parts, but it had some end goal in mind. I cursed Degan for the violence and the stress of the past few days, and I prayed to the Lady Medeina that it was only a result of the long day and the tension and not that I was losing my child.
A cold cloth was placed on my forehead and I opened my eyes to see Bram smiling reassuringly at me. "How are you doing?"
I slid a hand down my belly to lay it over my womb, as if I could somehow keep the baby inside that way. "Not good. Kind of achy."
"No, I can believe that." He caught his lower lip between his teeth and chewed on it for a moment. "I think we'll get you out of these clothes. I have a robe of sorts that you can wear instead."
I went cold with fear. "Do I have to? I really don't think I feel that bad. Just uncomfortable." More than uncomfortable, but certainly not as bad as labor had been.
Bram patted my hand and I watched the sadness grow in his eyes. "I think it would be a good idea, just in case. And maybe a quick shower, or a wipe down with some clean water? You sweated a bit while you were throwing up." His lips twitched, and then he full on grinned. "I'll send Cas to wash your clothes. They'll probably all come back the same color, though, and two sizes smaller."
I laughed dutifully at his joke, but the laughter disappeared when he began tugging on the hem of my t-shirt. I was unwilling but scared enough to let him strip me, though he was gentle enough about it. But every layer that came off felt to me like one more defense being taken away from me and the baby. Not that a pair of jeans or a sock would keep my baby inside, but I wasn't entirely rational at this point.
Bram got me into a soft flannel gown-shaped thing, open at the back so it could fit over me like a blanket with arm holes cut in it. It was warm too, like the blankets had been.
Adelaide came through the door, followed closely by Cas. He had a nice name. I wondered if that was the whole of it, or if it was short for something. Maybe someday I'd ask him.
My womb cramped again and I blinked to hold back the tears.
"Cas tells me you're feeling a little worse?" Adelaide put her stethoscope on and began listening to different parts of my chest.
"He's cramping and—" Bram's monologue was interrupted by her raised hand, silencing him more effectively than anything I'd ever seen.
"Well, let's see what's going on here," she murmured and began to press on my belly. Her brows drew down slightly and her eyes went unfocused as she poked and prodded. "Bram, bring me the small blue kit from under the sink?"
I didn't realize how hard I was gripping the rail at the side of the bed until Cas gently pried my fingers off the bar and let me hold onto him instead. Oddly, it did help, though it shouldn't have. Maybe it was the warmth, the feeling of a living being against my skin. But I was able to watch Adelaide pull out a swab and trickle some clear sharp-smelling liquid on the end of it with reasonable equanimity.
She flipped the blanket up and pinched up the robe, then ran the swab skillfully along my omega line without giving anyone a peek. I peered anxiously as she took it over to a cabinet on the far wall and poured some other liquid over it. I think I watched it as closely as she did, and I knew as soon as Adelaide did when the answer came back, because I could see it in her face.
My omega line was opening.
I must have made a noise because Cas was right there, a hand on my shoulder as he watched Adelaide too. It made no sense that he should be troubled by my loss—we'd met less than six hours ago. But it was comforting, still, to have his warm presence beside me. He smelled of alpha and forest, with a hint of ink and old wood. I liked it, and turned my thoughts away from how Degan had smelled of oil and steel and hunger.
Adelaide's smile was kind when she came back to me. "We're going to move you to a more comfortable bed. Do you want me to send for Bax?"
"I'm losing him, aren't I?" I asked, because I needed to hear someone say it.
"Oh, I don't know. I have a few tricks up my sleeve, but yes, it is a possibility. Don't write him and me off yet."
She was trying hard to convince me but deep inside, I knew it was a lie. A kind one, but I was at the top of a hill with no ability to stop myself, and by the time I got to the bottom, I'd be only one person again, not two.
Cas's hand squeezed on my shoulder. "Do you want Bax?" he asked.
I almost said no, but when I opened my mouth to refuse, to let Bax have this time to amuse himself, I couldn't say the word. "Yes?" I finally whispered, and the guilt sank it's fangs in a little farther.
"I'll call him," Bram said quietly and slipped out of the room. Adelaide followed him shortly after.
Cas shifted uncomfortably beside me. "Do you want me to leave?"
I shook my head. "No. I'd like the company."
We both fell silent, but it wasn't as awkward as it could have been. Or maybe I was too wrapped up in my guilt to notice any strain. If I had left earlier, could I have avoided this? If I'd gone in November, before my heat, the pup would never have come into being to be killed this way. If I'd left after, the pup might still be alive, having avoided the violence of my last day in the enclave.
"What made you decide to leave Jackson-Jellystone now?" Cas burst out suddenly. "No, I'm sorry, that's not my business."
Odd that he should be thinking about the same things I was. I shook my head and laughed angrily. "Yes it is. I showed up on your doorstep and dumped myself and my pups at your feet." Another cramp hit and that spot on the left side of my omega line, the part that was always the first piece to separate, began to sting. Tears welled up in my eyes and I spat, "I came because my pups finally saw my mate drag me around the house by hair. I wasn't going to let them see it again."
His hands tightened on mine and for a second, I thought he was going to bring them to his mouth, which wakened all sorts of uncomfortable feelings, and not all of them negative. If only Degan could have been more like Cas...
