Page 33 of Mating of Convenience
Nathan
“Iwon’t be able to walk any dogs this weekend because I’ll be out of the country.”
“Out of the country? What are you talking about?” Aaron gave me a strange look. I shoved both of my hands in my pockets so he wouldn’t see the ring on my finger. This morning, while washing my face, I’d thought about taking it off entirely before leaving the house, but that seemed wrong somehow. This marriage wasn’t even real and yet I couldn’t get myself to betray my husband that way. Idly, I wondered if Raph was wearing his ring or not. The thought that he was filled me with a strange sort of joy that I didn’t want to examine too closely, or for too long. It was a shy kind of feeling that would hide away if I looked at it directly.
“I’m going on a trip to Paris with Raphael,” I explained.
“You’re going to Paris with Raphael?” Aaron’s eyes narrowed at me even as he leaned down to pet his little black dog who’d come to the door to see who the visitor was. “Wait,” Aaron said after a moment. “You married him, didn’t you?”
“He needed my help,” I said with a helpless shrug. “What was I supposed to do? Let him marry some other alpha?” True, taking Raph up on his offer had probably been a bad idea, but if there were a hundred parallel universes and a hundred different versions of me, I doubted even one of them would have been able to watch another alpha put a ring on Raph’s finger. It was against the natural order of things. I knew that the same way I knew that the earth revolved around the sun.
“You could have done that,” Aaron said, but the way he said it told me even he didn’t believe that. He straightened again, ignoring the dog for a second to study me with a serious expression. “Are you going to be okay, though? I can’t believe you’re going on a honeymoon with Raphael. And to Paris of all places.”
“What’s wrong with Paris?”
“Dude, it basically screams romance.”
“Yeah, I know, everyone keeps saying how nice and romantic it is. But seriously, I’m going to be alright. I’m not suddenly going to lose my mind because I’m in Europe.”
“Oh, maybe not because you’re in Europe, but you’ll be in Europewith Raphael. You know, the guy you’ve been in love with for the past decade or so?”
“I’m not in love with him anymore.”
“Or so you’re saying.” My friend was obviously not convinced. “I’m not stupid, you know?”
“And I’m in control of my emotions.” At least I was most of the time. Aaron didn’t have to know about the way I kissed Raphael the other day, or how much I wanted to do it again.
“But you’re not denying that you do have emotions.”
“Everybody has emotions.”
“Sure they do, andsomepeople have the guts to act on them and make a move.”
“If anything, it’s on Raph to make a move,” I protested.
“He proposed to you,” Aaron pointed out as if it was no big deal. “What more do you want him to do?”
“To actually mean it.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself and then I couldn’t take them back. Oh no. I hated that knowing grin on Aaron’s face. He wasn’t going to pretend like he hadn’t heard that or like he didn’t catch the meaning behind those words.
“I knew you still wanted him back!” My friend sounded almost victorious. I kind of wanted to punch him. Too bad I wasn’t a violent person. I might sneak a few grasshoppers into his lunch box in the near future, though. For some reason, Aaron had an irrational fear of grasshoppers. No other bugs. Just grasshoppers.
“It doesn’t matter if I want him back,” I informed Aaron. “Even if I convince him to get back together, he’s just going to leave again at some point.”
For a moment, Aaron only looked at me as if there was something hewantedto say but he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate.
“What?” I snapped.
Aaron licked his lips, and then he finally spoke. “He’s not your mother, you know.”
My mouth stuck open. People didn’t usually mention my mom around me. Especially not my friends. They knew I preferred to pretend that I didn’t have a mother. The truth was that my dad had knocked my mom up while they were still in high school and she’d never quite come to terms with the way her life and her role in it had changed.
I wasn’t feeling sympathetic, though.
When I was 11 years old, my mom had just up and left us in the middle of the night. My dad was at a total loss at how to deal with the situation. My younger brother Caleb wasn’t even four years old at the time. And I... I just sort of lashed out.
It wasn’t until Rhys came into our lives that some stability returned to our family and I finally stop acting like a total brat. I never really got over my mom’s betrayal, though. It wasn’t the kind of thing you could easily forget. I knew my dad loved me and Rhys did too, but it wasn’t the same thing.
But that didn’t mean I was equating Raphael and my mom in my head. That was just gross.
