Page 51 of Mating of Convenience
I had to give my friend credit. He hardly even blinked before refilling my mug. “How are you handling everything?” he asked as I kept drinking. “Aside from upping your already ungodly caffeine intake.”
“I think I’m doing okay.” I set the mug down on the kitchen counter. “I mean, I’m kind of freaking out on the inside a little, but I’m keeping it together.” I had to. I didn’t want Raph to know that I was one skipped coffee away from a mental break.
“I can see that. Why don’t you sit down for a moment?” Aaron gestured at the kitchen table and I took him up on the invitation.
“I can’t stay long, though,” I said, even as I took a seat. “I told Raph I wouldn’t be gone for long and I still need to swing by my place too and get some stuff so we can actually stay at the new house tonight. And I should probably take a moment to let my family know what’s going on too.”
“One thing after the other,” Aaron advised, sitting opposite me. “Did something happen in Paris? You weren’t talking about buying a house before.”
“We weren’t talking about buying a house while in Paris either. His grandmother just went and bought it while we were away.”
Aaron’s eyebrows went up. “Wow. Talk about boundaries, huh? Though I don’t think I would mind if someone bought me a house.” Aaron took a moment to glance around his kitchen. “Not that I’m not fond of this place. Lots of memories here.”
I nodded. This used to be Aaron’s parents’ house, but they left Oceanport a few years ago. Now he lived on his own. Or rather, he lived with his dog. I’d tried to ask him why he was eternally single, but he always changed the topic whenever I did.
Taking another sip of my coffee, I wondered how much of what had transpired between me and Raph in Paris I could tell my friend. “Raph and I... I think we’re back together,” I said eventually, carefully, trying to gauge his reaction to this news.
Uncertainty shone in my friend’s eyes. “You mean you’reactuallyback together? Not just on paper?”
Inwardly, I had to shake my head at the way he said ‘on paper’ like it wasn’t a big deal. ‘On paper,’ we weremarried.But never mind that now. “I slept with him,” I confided. “After he told me why hereallyleft me.”
“So?” Aaron asked. “Why did hereallyleave you?”
“He’s infertile. Or, hardly fertile. I’m not really sure. It doesn’t matter.” I rubbed my face with the heel of my hand. “I can’t believe I was so obsessed with having a baby that I drove him away. But when I look back now...” I sighed. “I really was talking about it a lot. I can’t blame him for panicking.”
“He still hurt you, though,” Aaron pointed out. He was my friend more than Raph’s, so his concern was mostly for me, which I appreciated, but I didn’t need him to worry about me. I knew what I was doing and I could handle myself.
“It’s okay.” I drained the rest of my coffee, willing it to wash away any feelings of doubt I had.
“So the two of you are just going to stay married? Do I need to get a present?”
“You don’t need to get us a gift, and... I don’t know. I guess it would be silly to get a divorce now only to get married again at some point in the future.” To be honest, I hadn’t given it much thought. I’d seen Raph tense when his grandmother pointed out that we could annul our marriage with few consequences from her side--or at least, no consequences to his siblings’ wellbeing--but I wasn’t sure why that was.
Did he think I might want an annulment? Was that why he wanted me to open up a pet store? So I would still need the money and the marriage?
Somehow, I had to convince Raph that I would never need more than him even if he never conceived.
But how to do that when I could never look at babies without my hands reaching out to hold them?
25
Raphael
Iwas antsy. It had been a full month since Nathan and I had moved into our new home--and it was actually starting to feel a bit like a home now. We still had sex almost every night, and sometimes during the day when we could make time for it.
We never used protection.
Never even talked about it.
When we’d started this, I’d sworn to myself that I wouldn’t become one of those omegas who ran out to buy pregnancy tests in bulk. I would be laid-back and level-headed about it all. My alpha said he didn’t want to stress me, and I wasn’t going to stress myself either.
Except I sort of did.
One month was a long enough time to wait to take a pregnancy test, wasn’t it? At least I thought so.
But I still had a bit of work to get through before I could think about rushing home and taking the one test I’d allowed myself to buy in advance--just in case. I hadn’t had a meeting with Laurence scheduled for that day, but he asked to speak to me anyway, and what was more, he wanted to meet outside of the shelter.
I was intrigued.
