Page 67 of Mating of Convenience
Physically, Raphael recovered quickly after they let him go from the hospital. His emotional health was a different matter altogether. He’d smile at me and act like nothing was wrong, but I could see through his act because I knew what he was like when he was grieving. I still remembered the day of his mom’s funeral and how he hadn’t shed a single tear all throughout the ceremony. And then later that day, long after they’d lowered the casket into the ground and everyone had left, he’d asked me to go back to the cemetery with him.
I’d never liked cemeteries--they creeped me out--but I couldn’t say no. I would have done anything for him. So I went along and watched my friend as he dug a small figurine out of his pocket in front of his mother’s grave. It was a cold winter’s day and the sun already stood low in the sky, but even in the fading light, I could make out that what Raphael was placing on the ground was an angel.
I’d never known him to be fond of those. When my friend noticed my puzzled look, he gave me a smile and explained. “When I told my mom that I hated my name she told me she named me after an angel so there’d always be one watching over me. Now I want one to watch over her.” He kept smiling as he spoke, but at the same time, silent tears started streaming down his face. It was the weirdest sight, and fifteen year-old me had no idea what to do other than to draw my friend into my arms and hold him as he cried.
It was hard to believe that all of that had happened longer than a decade ago and I was still no better at consoling the omega I loved.
There had to be something I could do.
Mulling this over in my head for the hundredth time, I walked the dogs through town. Only four of them today. The poodle lady was on vacation with her momma and hopefully enjoying herself while barking at shells on the beach, but I was glad to have one less thing to worry about, even if those ‘things’ were the loveliest dogs in all of Oceanport.
After everything that had happened, I was feeling a little raw too.
If the accident hadn’t happened, Raph and I would be expecting now. It was hard to get over that, but somehow I had to. We both had to. We couldn’t move on if we didn’t.
I didn’t know how to go about it, though.
How did you mourn the loss of a pregnancy you never knew you were having until someone in scrubs told you that your mate was fine but the baby had been lost?
Until that moment, I hadn’t even known it was possible to feel overwhelming joy and deep shock at the same time. It took me until Raph woke up to recover from the worst of it.
The memory still haunted my thoughts.
Even when I really needed to focus on what was ahead of me.
A dog tugging on his leash pulled me out of my thoughts just before I could literally run into my father.
“Dad! What are you doing here?”
My dad regarded me with one eyebrow raised. Okay, fair enough. That question had been stupid. We were on a public street. “I was on my way to the flower store,” he told me eventually.
“Placing an order for a wedding?”
“Yes. The groom keeps changing his mind about what he wants, it’s… actually far too common an issue if I’m being honest.” My dad bent down to pet Sir Barksalot as he spoke, sighing heavily even though I knew how much he loved his job.
“I really can’t complain,” he added. “I mean, at least they’re nice people, all mind-changing aside, and you know I’ve had some assholes and bridezillas before.”
I nodded, remembering only too well.
“Speaking of weddings, everything going well with you and your husband?” my dad asked next, as if he knew exactly what I didn’t want to talk about. He’d always been good at that.
“We’re… fine,” I said, trying to sound convincing, even though we weren’t fine at all. We weregoingto be, though. I just had to believe that.
My dad looked about as convinced as if I’d told him that I’d met Santa Claus the other day. “You know you can come to me if you have problems, son, don’t you?”
“I know that. Thank you.”
“Okay, then. I’m glad you found yourself a husband, but you know that getting married isn’t the end goal, don’t you? It’s having a happy marriage that lasts throughout the year and that is something you’ll have to keep working on every day.”
“I know, Dad!” Seriously, I wasn’t a teen anymore. “I married Raph because I love him, not because I thought it would solve all our problems.”
My dad gave me a smile. “I’m happy to hear that, and I know you’ve always loved that omega. I only wanted to make sure that you didn’t rush into anything.”
“And you’re still a little disappointed that you didn’t get to plan my wedding,” I added for him.
“You got me.” He scratched Sir Barksalot behind the ear one more time and straightened. “You should come over for dinner this weekend. We haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, sorry I’ve been so busy.”
