Page 71 of Mating of Convenience
“I promise I’ll be better about taking pregnancy tests.”
“I know you will.” And for once, I honestly didn’t care if any of those tests ever turned up positive. Standing here with my mate in my arms, I had no idea what the future would hold for us or if we’d ever have a second chance at a baby, but I was willing to face whatever lay ahead of us as long as I had Raph by my side.
33
Raphael
Following our conversation that night on the hill, Nathan and I faced life with a renewed sense of purpose. I made the down payment for what was going to be my very own tattoo studio, and Nathan sent in his application to return to school for the spring semester. He was going to take classes from home, so he could still walk all the dogs of Oceanport and be there for me whenever I braced my fears about taking a pregnancy test—which I did exactly once a month.
We figured there was no point in stressing ourselves out more often than that.
These events were always fairly anti-climactic, to be honest. After the first two or three tests turned up negative and my mate took it in stride, I sort of stopped worrying about it too.
I had too many other things to worry about anyway. The renovations required for my studio took up so much of my time that I never had much energy left to think about the state of my uterus, and I liked it that way.
Which didn’t mean that I didn’t still hate these stupid test sticks when I stared at the box I’d purchased from the drug store five months after that disastrous day that had landed me in hospital. The doctors told me that, while my chances of conceiving were not as high as most other omegas, they weren’t so disastrously low that we needed to think about taking extra steps just yet. At least not if we weren’t desperate.
Iwasn’tdesperate, but itwouldbe nice to put an end to the suspense.
At least Nathan came home from walking the dogs a little earlier than expected. He knew that I was waiting, so he was kind enough to hurry.
My husband truly was the best.
In return, I let him have his extra strong coffee before we headed into the bathroom. I’d tried to convince him at first that I really didn’t need his help to pee on a stick, but he claimed that it wasn’t really about the peeing-on-a-stick part and I couldn’t argue with him there.
Besides, I didn’t care if he saw me pee.
“You doing okay?” Nathan asked as I peeled this month’s test stick out of its box.
“Yeah, sure. I mean, we’ve done this a lot by now, right? I’m basically a pro at this point.”
“If you say so.” Nathan grabbed my hand and squeezed, then let go again so I could do my business. “You know you don’t have to stress about the outcome, right?” he asked even as I stepped in front of the toilet.
“How could I forget? You remind me every month,” I pointed out.
“And I’ll keep doing so.”
I stood with my back to Nathan so I couldn’t see him as I focused on the stick, but I pictured him sticking his tongue out at me. “Whatever makes you happy.”
“You make me happy.”
Aw.
Any other time, I might have teased my silly alpha for being so sappy, but I was kind of busy just then, and honestly? I kind of liked it.
“Okay, I’m done,” I said after a moment, shaking the stick in the air.
“Good.” Nathan gave me a smile as I turned back to him. “You got a good feeling about this?”
“Nah,” I said, just to be cautious--and because I never had a good feeling about this.Never. And I was always right. This test would turn out to be negative too and then Nathan and I would cuddle up on the couch for the rest of the night and watch movies and eat junk. It had become somewhat of a routine by now. I didn’t mind it.
But I still hoped that one of these months, the night would go differently.
After a minute, I handed the stick to Nathan the way I did every time. I’d much rather he look at it than I.
“I don’t think it’s ready yet,” he said, glancing at it.
“Well, just tell me when it is.” I flushed the toilet and walked over to the sink to wash my hands and distract myself whatever way I could.
