Page 35 of Jake and Conner
I'd thought I had this under control. I'd taken my pills. I'd waited a few days to see Jake again after the last episode...
It occurred to me that maybe this was simply a reaction to being this close to Jake after all the time we'd spent apart. That maybe this was always going to happen no matter how many pills I took to fight it.
But even as I realized that, there was nothing I could do about it. My thoughts were growing fuzzy now. The way they always did when my hormones took over.
The last truly clear thought I had was dedicated to hoping there were condoms around, and then everything turned sort of hazy as all my attention focused on the alpha next to me. Hungrily, I kissed his neck, pushed his sweater up so I could get my hands on the naked skin underneath.
Jake exhaled sharply, and I grinned. I could smell his arousal. It was one of the best scents in the world.
"Conner?" Jake asked.
I shut him up by kissing him. He didn't resist, but I hadn't expected him to. Then again, I also hadn't expected him to get up from the couch, which he did next. I stayed glued to him, even as he rose. I wasn't going to let go again until I got what I wanted, what Ineeded.
Jake snaked one of his arms around my hips, holding me close as our tongues touched and I rediscovered his mouth.
I barely even noticed that we were moving, stumbling through the room toward--actually I had no idea where. I didn't care either. All I needed was Jake, fewer clothes, and a flat surface. I would take the floor if I needed to.
Jake led me into the bathroom. If I'd been in full control of my mind, I might have thought this was weird. As it was, though, I suspected nothing even as Jake stepped into the shower stall, fully clothed, and dragged me with him. He said something, but my fingers were working on his fly now and I was pretty sure that whatever he had to say, it couldn't be more important than getting his pants off him.
I heard him sigh, and the very next moment, a stream of cold water came blasting down on us.
The icy shower shocked my system as if I'd tumbled through the fires of hell into a snowstorm. My hands were still on him, but I could think again. I realized what he was doing, what we were doing--what wehadbeen doing.
"Shit," I cursed, both because this situation was suboptimal and because I was freezing. Separating myself from Jake, I hopped out of the shower.
He quickly did the same. His hair was dripping, his clothes were drenched.
I probably didn't look any better, but I didn't have any thought for myself that moment. I was shivering, but not because I was cold. I was thinking of all the things that hadn't happened, that could have happened. Jake could have had me and I wouldn't have protested even once. He knew that too. But he'd chosen a different path.
"Why did you do that?" I asked.
He eyed me from top to bottom once before turning the shower off. "You okay?" he asked then.
"I'm fine," I muttered, hugging myself because I was cold.
Jake grabbed a towel from a rack and flung it my way. "Dry off," he said. "And then get out." He searched for something in his pockets and then dangled his car keys in front of my face.
I shot him a questioning look.
"You can think clearly right now but it's not going to last," he explained. "Not if you stay."
"But we could just--"
"You already told me you don't want to have sex with me today. Whatever you want right now, I can't trust it. Not while you're in heat."
I gaped at him. Not a lot of people managed to turn me speechless, but Jake had always been surprisingly good at it. "How are you going to get home?" I asked when I regained the ability to form words.
He shrugged. "I'll figure something out." As he spoke, he took the towel from me because I still hadn't used it and rubbed it over my head to stop my hair from dripping. "Now go."
"Thank you," I said, finally accepting the keys from him.
I was often told that having sex with someone could be an expression of love, but I'd never felt as loved as I did that moment, when Jake refused to sleep with me and sent me home instead.
He was giving me a lot to think about.
14
Jake
