Page 47 of Jake and Conner
The reason I wasn't protesting on the streets anymore was because I was too busy working too many hours at the shelter.
It wasn't abadthing.
And yet, ever since I'd lost Mark, I itched to go back to my old ways. There was nothing rational about that feeling, but I couldn't help it. Change wasn't happening quickly enough. I didn't want to hide away in my office. I wanted to beseenout on the streets by the people in power. I wanted to add my voice to the voices of everyone else who dreamed of a better world for omegas.
But was that really who I was anymore?
Only a few days ago I’d sat at the dinner table with my family for Thanksgiving and everyone had clapped me and Jake on the back for finally giving it another go and my dad had made a stupid joke about grandchildren and I’d glared at him and everyone had laughed. Everyone quietly assumed that I was going tosettlenow.
Maybe I had already settled.
It was this thought more than anything that made me get my phone out of my pocket and call Raphael. We'd been roommates in college for a while, and we'd gone to a couple of demos together back in the day.
"Raph?" I asked when he answered the phone. "You still want to spend a Saturday with me?"
"You want to go clubbing?" My friend sounded confused. "I thought you were back together with Jake now. About time too, if you ask me."
"I don't want to go clubbing." And I hadn't called Raph for relationship advice either. "There's a demo happening over in Lake Forest. It's about the distribution laws for heat suppressors. I thought I might go." It was pretty similar to the one that had first caught my eye. Different organizers, same cause.
"A demo, really? I didn't know you did that anymore."
That stung. Raph was making it sound like I wasoldor something. "I just haven't had the time," I said. "But it might be fun to go together."
"And so your boyfriend doesn't freak out on you?" my friend teased.
What, was he suggesting that I needed a chaperone? "This isn't about Jake."
"Sure," Raph said, easily. "You're not asking me to come with you to make Jake feel better about the whole thing, I believe you."
I grimaced. So what if there was some part of me that liked to make an effort to stop Jake from worrying about me too much? Considering my boyfriend's feelings wasn't a bad thing--but it wasn't the only reason I'd called Raph either. In truth, I knew there was a chance that I might back out of this whole thing again, and that chance decreased dramatically if I'd made plans with another person--and I really needed to do this. If only to show myself that I wasn't giving up on my ideals, my purpose, just because I was in a relationship again. "Do you want to come or not?" I asked. "It's for a good cause."
"This Saturday?"
"Next week."
"Let me ask Nate if he's okay to stay home with the kid."
"All right." I waited on the phone for a minute while my friend talked to his mate. Their son, John, was about one-and-a-half years old. He was adorable, but also an adorable little troublemaker. The last time I'd been over at Raph's place, the little one had tried to use the shelves in the living room as a jungle gym. His son was a little rebel, Raph had told me, but he'd said it with a tender smile and the kind of love in his eyes that told me he would do whatever it took to ensure his child's happiness for the rest of his life. Seeing my friend like that always made me wonder what it would be like to have a baby of my own one day, if I would feel the same way. If I would be a good parent.
I really had no idea what I would do with an infant.
After another moment, my pondering was interrupted by a crackling on the other end of the line and then Raphael spoke again. "Saturday should work," he said. "But I'll be on diaper duty all Sunday. I hope you make it worth my while."
"Fighting for justice is always worth it."
"I'm not sure. Maybe if I could have some ice cream with my justice?"
"All right, I'll buy you ice cream, you big kid."
"Awesome. I gotta get off the phone now. My sister's coming around. Talk to you soon."
"Okay. Enjoy your evening."
I hung up the phone and prepared to head home. Before I left my office, though, I sent a text message to Jake, asking if he wanted to meet at my place tonight. I knew if I wanted to do this, I had better prepare him for it sooner rather than later.
20
Jake
