Page 78 of Jake and Conner
I blinked at that thought, idly wondering at how funny it was that I would be trying to talk my alpha out of delivering our baby when other omegas couldn't get their mates to even watch the birth.
"I can do this," Jake said. There wasn't a flicker of doubt in his voice. If he had any concerns, he was hiding them for my benefit.
And I decided to trust him. Because he was my future husband and an excellent paramedic, and if he said this was our best option, I believed him. But also because he was Jake and he would never let any harm come to me or our child.
So I took off my pants and laid on the bed, on my back with my legs drawn up as Jake gently instructed so he could examine me.
Another cramp hit and I tried to breathe through it as Jake kept talking to me. He'd brought some equipment he told me, just in case, so that the baby and I would be safe. By the time I was breathing normally again, he was on the phone calling an ambulance. I shot him a questioning look.
"Just so we can get you and the baby to the hospital quickly in case of complications," he said. "But I don't think there will be any."
Did he really think that or was he just trying to reassure me?
I groaned because I had really not planned to give birth in his family's cabin in the middle of the woods.
"Hey." Jake rested one of his hands on my knee. "It's going to be fine, okay?"
I nodded and took another breath and cursed. "I feel like I need to go to the bathroom."
"That's not unusual," Jake said. "But you don't want our baby to land in the toilet, do you?"
I grimaced at that visual. As if to distract me, Jake held up a box of things that I hadn't even noticed before.
"This is an emergency obstetrical kit," he told me. "I've been carrying this around with me for weeks. And I'm going to prepare it now so that we can meet our little girl soon, okay?"
"What if she's not a girl?"
"Doesn't matter to me. Would you rather have a boy?" Jake asked, idly chattering at me as he laid his equipment out on a table by the bed. I caught sight of gloves and tissues and large scissors and something that looked like clamps and some things I couldn't name and then Jake spread a sort of blanket out on the bed next to me and told me to move over so I would be lying on top of it.
"I don't really care if it's a boy or a girl," I said truthfully. "I just want him to be healthy." Especially if he was going to be bornhereandnow.If this went wrong, it would be my fault, not Jake's. My body should have carried my child for longer, waited for a reasonable time--
"If the baby wants out now that's because she's ready," Jake said as if he could read my thoughts. He'd strapped on gloves now and was in the process of tying an apron behind his back. "Don't laugh, I know I look silly. Actually, go ahead and laugh all you want."
"I really hope you know what you're doing."
"Of course I do! I almost had to deliver Laurence's baby too, you know." He gave me a smile, but he couldn't erase the worry lines from his forehead entirely. "Never thought I'd be delivering my own baby."
"I never thought it would happen like this either." I especially never thought I would have to go through this without drugs, but I didn't mention that part. Instead, I grabbed one of the pillows off the bed and dug my nails into it as another wave of pain shot through my body.
"Start pushing," Jake instructed.
Thank God, I thought to myself, because I'd been holding myself back from doing just that. A part of me was still afraid that all I needed was to use the toilet, but I ignored that voice in my head, choosing to focus on Jake's voice instead. Jake would get me through this. He would get us both through this. All of us.
We were going to be a family soon.
I clung to that thought, even as sweat built on my skin and a scream ripped from my mouth.
I was pushing as hard as I could, but nothing was happening.
"Just a little bit more," Jake said. I was pretty sure he was trying to be encouraging, but I didn't feel very encouraged. I feltexhausted.I didn't even know a person couldbethis exhausted without passing out. It shouldn't be possible, and yet, somehow, I was still awake, still fighting the pain, still pushing.
If anyone had told me this was going to be this hard...
Don't be such a wimp, I told myself.Omegas have been giving birth since the dawn of time, you can do this.
It occurred to me that countless omegas had alsodiedduring birth since the dawn of time, but I knew that wasn't going to be me.
Jake would never let that happen.
