“He won’t. It makes him nervous enough with permission. He won’t do it if you don’t want him to.”
“I need to hear that from him, not you. Come on, Quin, you know me better than that.”
“I do.” Quin started to get up. “I’ll go get him.”
Kaden held up a hand. “No, let me. This isn’t between the three of us, Quin. It’s between me and Holland.” He felt more than saw Quin gathering himself to forbid it. “He’s a grown man. You keep telling me that. I can’t have this conversation with you hovering over us like our mother.”
Quin winced and looked away.
Kaden rolled closer and put a hand on Quin’s shoulder. “I’m not a monster either.”
Quin stared at his hand for a moment, then looked up at Kaden. “I never said you were. But I don’t want him thinking he is, either. This is a lot of upset for the omegas. Suddenly, they aren’t who they thought they were. Others feel like they’ve missed out on the party. Every day there’s some new crisis he has to deal with. If his packbrother goes in there and tells him that he’s no better than a noknika, what’s he going to think? He loves me, Lysoon knows why, and he respects our brothers. He’s been looking forward to you coming home so much—I don’t want to see him destroyed.”
Twenty-three years old and helping to lead a pack. With two traumatized pups and two babies. Plus all the omega stuff that Kaden had barely scratched the surface of. He could see his brother’s point. Still, this was a conversation that needed to be had, just between him and Holland. Mostly because he could see how Quin was trying to protect Holland—from the world, from the pack, and even from himself. It was a recipe for disaster, though Kaden knew Quin meant well. He was just too close to the issue at hand, and his heart too wrapped up in it.
“I promise, I will not call him a monster.” He squeezed Quin’s shoulder, then left his uncertain brother there on the living room floor as he rolled away toward the apartment’s master bedroom.
C H A P T E R 2 2
K aden found Holland in his and Quin’s bedroom, in a rocking chair by the big plate glass window, slowly rocking the baby while he sang something that Kaden hadn’t heard since he was a pup himself. It had gotten dark since he’d arrived at the apartment and the stars were beginning to twinkle in between the drifting clouds. The gibbous moon shone in through the window, painting sharply etched shadows on his packbrother’s face and hiding the child in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” Kaden began by way of letting Holland know he was there.
Holland never turned his head. “What do you have to be sorry about? You’re not the one who doesn’t have any boundaries.”
The bitterness in his voice seeped over into his scent and the pup stirred fretfully.
“I have a bad startle response,” Kaden said, almost entirely truthfully.
Holland scoffed, but at least he lifted his head to meet Kaden’s eyes. “You planning to go back to Salma now?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I like it here.” Kaden shrugged and rolled farther into the room. “Let me see the little guy.” He pulled up next to the rocking chair and set the brakes. “I’ll try not to break anything.”
“They’re pretty resilient at this age.” Holland stared down at the baby again, then up at Kaden as if trying to piece together whether it was safe.
“I’m trying, Holland. I don’t know what Quin was thinking, pulling that on a soldier.”
Holland sighed and passed the sleepy baby over. “He thinks less and less like a soldier all the time. I don’t know if that’s civilian life, or me.”
“Are you still poking around his brain?”
“Not much. I’m figuring out how to…I don’t know, like lancing a boil? Drain the poison out of the memory?” He turned his head away to look out at the stars. “If you’re wondering, I regret some of our early experiments.”
“Don’t. Quin doesn’t.” Kaden wasn’t certain how he knew this, but it was as plain to him as the nose on his face.
“Yeah,” Holland said softly. “But is that the Marines losing their grip on his soul, or me stealing it?”
“I’ve never known a psychopath who questioned if they were right. Quin seems fine. I’m fine too, so you can stay out of my head, please and thank you.”
That startled a short bark of laughter out of Holland. “Promise.” He rocked the chair gently, still staring at the stars. “I wonder if any of those stars out there are Mercy Hills wolves.”
“Maybe a few.” The baby made a small smacking noise, then fell bonelessly back to sleep in Kaden’s arms.
“He looks good on you,” Holland said.