Page 41 of A Very Oceanport Christmas
"It's not that easy," I argued. "Even if it wasn't for you guys, there would still be a lot of things to figure out. Like money and all that."
"Scholarships exist," Dad reminded me, "and we both know you're smart enough to get one."
"But I haven't applied for one. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't really think this through."
"But if you had and you had the finances figured out and you didn't have to worry about me and Sam, you would want to go," Dad summarized.
I shook my head because this still wasn't fair. "I'm not just going to leave you or Sam."
"What if you didn't have to?" Dad asked.
"What do you mean?" A hint of frustration crept into my voice. I couldn't follow and I was getting tired of this conversation.
"Seriously, David, considering how smart you are, it's amazing how blind you can be sometimes."
I huffed.
"You and Sam really are the same," Dad went on, "it always has to be all or nothing with you two."
"Will you just tell me what you mean?"
"After I saw that you'd applied to college, I did some research of my own," Dad said.
"What kind of research?" I asked.
"Hold on," he said, getting up from the table and leaving the room. After a minute or two, he returned with a stack of paper in his hands. He set it down on the table in front of me.
"What's this?" I asked, even as my eyes skimmed the top page. Wait, were these...? "Online courses?" I looked up at Dad. "I can't become a doctor without going to med-school."
"Maybe not," Dad agreed, "but you can get your undergrad in biology remotely." He pointed at the papers. "It's all in there. You may not be able to get your full degree online, but it's a start."
I looked at the printed pages in front of me again, heart heavy.
A start.
It was more than I'd had in a long time, but not enough to solve my problems with Sam. To do that, I had to show him what he meant to me, how he could help me, how we could be a team. It wasn't enough just to pay lip-service.
My gaze drifted to the window, searching about for some kind of sign that would tell me what I was supposed to do.
As I watched, a single snow-flake floated down from the sky toward the earth.
13
Sam
None of my relatives seemed to care that I was not in the mood to celebrate a very merry Christmas. No sadness allowed during family Christmas dinner was pretty much an unspoken rule. Hell, no sadness allowed during any big family gathering, and we had plenty of those throughout the year. Whenever I so much as sighed, someone pressed a cookie or candy cane or whatever into my hand.
"Have some hot cocoa," Uncle Rhys said, handing a steaming mug to me even though I hadn't asked for one. "You'll feel better."
I nodded dully and accepted the hot beverage because I didn't really have another option anyway. Rhys sat next to me on the couch in Uncle Dean's living room. The house was a bustle of activity with dinner preparations still underway and someone new coming in the door every ten minutes or so, but while I sat here staring at the lights on the Christmas tree, I could fool myself into believing that I was having a quiet moment.
Even if the Christmas tree was decorated with some of Mrs. Rosewood's very own creations. Most of them looked innocent enough--Dean and Griff wouldn't have put anything incriminating on there knowing they were about to host a bunch of kids. Mrs. Rosewood had knitted dogs. Aiden had pointed them out to me almost the minute my parents and I had stepped into the house. "Little alpha and omega dogs," he'd called them. "Look, this one is in heat." He'd pointed to one that lay on his back. Because of course nothing Mrs. Rosewood made was ever truly innocent.
"How's the baby?" Rhys asked in that gentle, non-threatening tone of voice he had. He was my Dad's twin brother, but they weren't much alike. His quiet, thoughtful nature made it easy to open up around him, often before I realized that I was doing it. Growing up, he'd been my confidante more than once when I was butting heads with my dad. Looking back on those days now, I wondered if maybe dad had even asked him to be, once or twice.
"The baby's fine," I said, resting my hand on my belly. The baby really wasn't the problem here. The problem was my relationship with David. Every time I thought of him, my thoughts drifted back to that stupid college letter and how much I both wanted him and didn't want him to go.
Rhys studied me for a moment, then said, "I've been through something similar, you know."
