Page 44 of A Very Oceanport Christmas
14
Sam
Ihadn't expected David to take me to the cemetery. The wrought-iron gate creaked as he opened it and we stepped inside. A dusting of snow covered the ground and the graves around us, the stillness of the image somehow amplifying the sound our feet made as we walked. The sun had set long ago, and there was just enough light for me to make out the path in front of me. I looked around. Some graves had jars with candles on them, their flames flickering in the dark. It was kind of spooky. I wanted to ask David what we were doing here, but at the same time, couldn't make myself break the silence.
In one hand, David was carrying a blue plastic bag, with the other, he dug in his coat pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper and read it by shining his phone on it. "Directions," he said, when he noticed me watching.
I nodded, even though I wasn't at all sure what he was trying to tell me. Directions to where?
Where do you think?A voice in my mind piped up.You're in a cemetery.
Right, he was probably searching for a particular grave.
His mom's grave?
But wouldn't he know the directions without having to look them up?
Something in my chest tightened.
I kind of wanted to reach for David's hand again, but neither of his hands was free, so I just followed quietly while he led us through the graveyard.
Finally, we came to a stop in front of a grave that honestly looked just like all the others, if maybe a little newer. You could tell that the headstone had been polished not too long ago, compared to the ones surrounding it which had suffered the wear and tear of being exposed to nature 24/7. A little bit of snow covered the top, but I could still easily read the inscription when the light from David's phone shone on it.
Amanda Caroline Clark
Beloved Wife and Mother
I shifted my gaze to look at David. He licked his lips before turning to me.
"This is what you wanted to show me?" I asked. "Your mom's grave?" I couldn't make sense of it.
"I've never been here before."
"Never?" I gaped a bit. At least that explained why he'd needed directions.
David flushed as if admitting this embarrassed him a little. "I couldn't make myself. I felt bad about making my dad deal with the funeral by himself, but..." He shrugged helplessly.
"It's okay," I said, because really, who was I to judge? Grief was a personal thing and everyone dealt with it differently. I'd never suffered any great losses in my life, but even I knew that much. I took David's hand. The piece of paper he'd been holding crumpled between our fingers, but that was okay. We didn't need it anymore.
David squeezed my hand. "If it wasn't for you, I don't think I could stand being here."
"I'll come with you any time you need me to," I promised. Warmth spread through me from the center of my chest. I knew that David's grief shouldn't make me happy, but it wasn't his grief, not really. It was the feeling of being needed, of David sharing this with me, letting me help him carry this weight.
"You said I'm not letting you help me, but that's not true," David said. "You're helping so much just by being here. You're just not seeing it." He got something out of his bag. A Christmas ornament. The figurine of the deer we'd seen at that store in the mall while we'd been out shopping for decorations.
"I went back to buy this," he said. "Without you, I would never have found it, and I sure as hell wouldn't be able to do this right now." He let go of my hand temporarily to kneel by the grave and clear a little spot off the snow. Then he placed the figurine in the center of it. "I finally managed to replace the figurine, Mom," he said in a soft tone of voice.
I knew the words weren't meant for me, but they made me happy anyway.
"Things have been really rough for a while," David continued, still facing the headstone. "But Sam came back to town and he kicked mine and Dad's butt into gear. You should have seen it. You would have laughed." His voice cracked a little at the end there. He took a slow breath before going on. "We finally got together too, just like you always thought we would. We took our time getting here, but Sam's already pregnant, so I guess we'll be moving faster in the future."
Was that supposed to be a joke? I almost shook my head at David, even as part of me wanted to laugh.
"You're being silly," I accused.
"Am I?" David turned around and got up. His hands came to rest on my hips. "I promise you I meant every word I just said."
"What about college?" I hated that I had to ask, but I did. As romantic as our little cemetery getaway was, it didn't really solve the very real issues we were facing, did it?
