Page 86 of Act Like You Don't Care
Tam laughed and rubbed my back, then quickly snatched his hand away and hid it in his lap. I faked a smile but was somewhat comforted to know that he was finding the boundaries of this relationship confusingly blurry.
Dr. Ronin chuckled and turned back to a tablet in his hand. “I have your last round of bloodwork, so we’ll leave that for the next visit. Blood pressure looks good, sugar is good. You’re not anemic.” He gestured to Tam to stand up, then felt at the corners of his jaw and the base of his neck. “Lymph nodes look good. You can get up on the table there and we’ll get some measurements and have a quick listen.”
Tam cast me a quick uncertain glance and I nodded to him. He let his hoodie slip down his arms and handed it to me before giving a little hop up onto the paper-covered table on the other side of the room.
“I’ll ask you to lie down and undo your jeans.” Dr. Ronin opened a cupboard and retrieved a narrow measuring tape.
As Tam undid the button of his jeans, I felt an unexpected jolt of visceral memory, of my own fingers undoing those fastenings and the warmth of the skin beneath them. Then the doctor moved between us and I had a moment to bring my rebellious thoughts into line.
Tam stared up at the ceiling while the doctor prodded at his belly and wrapped the measuring tape around his waist to measure him.
“Just need to have a baseline,” Dr. Ronin assured him. “Helps to track the baby’s growth.”
Tam nodded and I caught a flash of his eyes when they flicked in my direction, then went back to staring at the ceiling. “Everything’s okay?” he asked, a thread of uncertainty underlying his words.
“Everything looks fine,” the doctor assured him and some of the tension went out of my shoulders. “We’re just going to have a little listen for the heart, and then we can set up for your next appointment.” Dr. Ronin reached underneath the table and pulled out a small box-shaped machine with a wand attached to one end with a wire. “We’re a little early for trying to catch a heartbeat—it’ll be easier even in just a couple of weeks but if we’re very lucky…” His voice trailed off as he pressed the end of the wand to Tam’s belly, just to the right of his bellybutton, then slowly began to move it through an arc below. The slight hissing of the speaker in the doctor’s hand gave way to a faint drumming sound, like distant horses running on a beach. “There we are,” he said with satisfaction.
Tam’s eyes had widened a little at the first beats, an incredulous smile following after. “That’s it? The baby?” He turned his head to look at me, his eyes shining. I grinned back and got to my feet to cross the room to stand by the head of the bed. He reached for my hand and this time he didn’t pull away.
“It is,” Dr. Ronin confirmed with his own smile. “Nice and clear for the age. Nothing’s certain, but it sounds like a boy. They usually have a slightly faster heart rate.” He shut off the speaker, to my great disappointment, and put everything away. “We’ll do that again in a couple of visits. In the meantime, prenatal vitamins, lots of water, lots of sleep. You should be able to keep up your regular exercise routine.” He began making notes on the tablet, then paused and looked up at Tam with a more serious note to his expression. “Nothing that impacts the abdomen, so no contact sports or anything that will concentrate your body weight on your lower abdomen. If you’re unsure of something, call the office. Do you know where they want these fitness reports sent to?”
“Yes.” Tam let go of my hand and sat up, reaching for his phone. “I think I already signed the authorization? To let you keep them in the loop?”
“It would have been in the paperwork you filled out today,” Dr. Ronin told him as he copied the email address over from Tam’s phone. “Okay, we’re done. Don’t forget to make your next appointment on the way out.” The doctor leaned over and shook my hand. “Congratulations, Dad. And don’t worry about a thing. He’s in excellent shape and I don’t see any reason why he won’t just breeze through this.”
“Thank you,” I stammered and then the doctor was gone and it was just Tam and me.
Tam finished closing up his jeans again and it felt like he was avoiding my gaze. “That wasn’t too bad,” I offered to see what he’d say.
“No.”
I waited to see if he’d say more, but he was quiet.
“You okay?” I asked, worried.
He raised his head then, wearing a startled expression. “No, I’m fine.” He was smiling again and his eyes had taken on a slightly far-away look. “Just thinking.”
Oh. Then I laughed and his eyes sharpened their focus on me. “Me too,” I explained. “What are you doing after this? Right back to work?”
“Pretty much,” he replied.
“No time for a quick coffee or—” I checked my watch, “—lunch?”
He shook his head, then paused. “Maybe. Let me text Will.” He started toward the door, fingers flying over the keyboard of his phone, and I followed.
By the time he had gotten the time set for his next appointment, Will had replied with a cautious yes, along with a warning to Tam not to test his stomach since he’d be doing some running that afternoon.
Tam grinned and shrugged. “Where do you want to go?”
I eyed him and asked with a half-smile, “Where does the baby want to go? I don’t think either one of us is in charge here.”
He laughed and glanced down, then jerked his head in the direction of the exit. “You’re probably right. I don’t know this area—let’s see what the kid’s interested in.”
Tam
Miles coming to my doctor’s appointments turned into a regular thing, as did our trip down the street after each appointment to a little French-style bistro where I got fresh-pressed juice and whatever tempted the baby’s appetite that day and Miles got a coffee and whatever he thought he could casually sneak into my diet. For a security expert, he wasn’t that subtle, or maybe I was just learning to read him better. But it amused me so I played along and let him think he’d talked me into eating more than I’d planned. It made him happy, which made me happy.
Toeing that line between flirting and being friends was harder than I’d expected. For one, I’d suddenly discovered that I sucked at actual flirting. My usual method was to see what I wanted, grab it someplace inappropriate and, if it didn’t deck me, go home with it. This… thing I had going on with Miles? Totally new territory.
