Page 68 of Act Like You Don't Care
I tried again. “We…weren’t really an item. There was a guy sending me stuff, it got kind of crazy. The studio was worried about my safety, I was worried about my reputation. He was the compromise.” I shrugged and looked down at my hands. “It got a little messy at the end, just before they caught the guy sending the threats.”
Kade’s eyes brightened with sudden understanding as he made the connections. Shane still seemed puzzled but when he opened his mouth to speak again, Kade put a hand out and Shane immediately closed it.
“Still,” Nick said. “He is the baby’s father. You’re going to have to tell him at some point. He’s probably going to suspect.”
“I know that,” I snapped at him. “That’s not the issue.” Well, it was, but I was still figuring out why it was. This was all happening too fast, I didn’t have time to figure out my confused feelings toward my former bodyguard. Or, well, no. I knew what my feelings were. I just didn’t know how to act on them. “I need to figure out how to keep this from torpedoing my career.”
“How long are you here for?” Kade asked gently.
I shrugged. “I bought a one-way ticket. I guess I’ll go home when I’ve figured out what I’m going to do. Or when you kick me out, whichever comes first.”
Some silent communication passed between Shane and Kade, and then Shane stood up. “We can put you in Conner’s room. I’ll call Griff and see if he’s okay with an extra body.”
“I can get a hotel room or bed and breakfast,” I protested. I hadn’t thought at all about where I’d stay and, for some reason, it wasn’t until now that it occurred to me that not everyone had spare rooms to put unexpected cousins in.
“It’s fine.” Shane waved off my concerns. “He’ll enjoy getting away from his little sister and Dean will probably stuff him full of junk food while he’s there. Come on, let’s give the boy the good news.” He beckoned to me to follow him.
Kade stood up too. “Maybe they’ll take Mary too. Big ears, you know?”
Shane nodded thoughtfully. “Good idea. If not them, maybe Eli would take her for the night. Or Rhys?”
Nick began collecting dishes. “I’ll clean up while you get that figured out.” He looked over at me, his hands full of dirty glasses. “Then we can get you figured out too.”
I nodded my thanks and followed Shane and Kade into the house, where the news that they were being kicked out of their own house raised whoops of joy from Mary and a stubborn refusal from Conner that was only solved when Kade promised to take him to the bookstore on Monday.
Tam
Istayed the weekend, just hanging with Shane and Kade and the rest of the cousins. I finally got to meet Nick’s husband for more than the quick hello and congratulations that I’d gotten in at the wedding. Nick was lucky to have found him and they seemed entirely happy with each other even if they did bicker a bit.
Nick’s brother Rhys even came over for a while on Saturday, which was a little awkward. It had been through him that I’d originally met my Vinist boyfriend, just before I moved to Hollywood. Neither of those relationships had worked out for us, though I freely admitted Rhys had gotten the worst of it all. He was still quieter than I remembered him being as a teenager, but I supposed having kids would do that to you.
We didn’t end up figuring out anything I didn’t already know, but just getting out of Hollywood for a while did wonders to clear up my own thought processes. This was probably going to have a negative effect on my career, there was no way out of that. But as Kade said, it was how I handled the blowback that would decide whether I was stuck with low budget and B movies for the rest of my life or if I could somehow salvage it. I was probably going to lose Wirechild—I’d be showing by the time we got to the end of shooting. It wasn’t likely that they’d be willing to work around me that much.
Or maybe I should just sell my condo and move home with my mother.
Kade threw up his hands in exasperation the fourth time those words came out of my mouth and grabbed his keys. “Come on, you need to get out of this house. I’ll take you for a walk, we’ll get some hot chocolate—fuck your diet,” he snapped, pointing a finger at my face. “You can’t eat the way you have been, not with a baby on the way. Calories. You’re going to need them.”
Shit.
He loaned me a warmer coat too—I’d not exactly forgotten what early spring was like here in Oceanport, but I certainly hadn’t packed for one. Then we drove into town and stopped at the Dream cream ice cream shop to get some hot chocolate.
I hesitated before ordering, but Kade was right. The diet I’d been planning in the run-up to filming was going to need to be adjusted. And what was one hot chocolate going to hurt, right? So I went to town on it, whipped cream, caramel syrup—the works.
The man who owned the shop had a young boy with him, puttering around in behind the counter, making up waffle cones for customers and running the cash register. I watched him, fascinated, wondering how much my own child would be like this cheerful, industrious boy when he or she was this age. Nine? Ten? What did I know about kids anyway? I made sure I left a tip when I paid for our drinks and saw his eyes light up. Maybe the shopkeeper paid him in tips. Who knew?
Kade laughed at me as we left the store. “Not really any gray areas with you, is there?” He gestured at my hot chocolate. “All or nothing.”
I started to shrug, then just grinned. “It’s probably the last one I can afford to have, calorie-wise. After this, it’s all fresh veggies and lean meats.” My compromise. Kade had loaned me a ‘What to Expect’ book the first night I’d stayed there. I’d already read the whole thing. As soon as I got back to California, I was hiring a nutritionist.
He stuck his hands in his pockets and strolled down the street. I slurped about half the whipped cream off the top of the hot chocolate and followed him, enjoying the peace. Even if it was cold.
Kade pause at the corner of the street. “We can go down to the park. We might find Conner there.”
I glanced sideways at him. “How’s that going, anyway?” I remembered the funeral for Shane’s omega husband. I’d been in the middle of shooting and couldn’t get away, but I’d sent the biggest bouquet of flowers I could find and paid someone to deliver meals to Shane’s house for a week. He and Kade had seemed happy at their wedding, but a wedding was one thing. We had lots of those in Hollywood. It was the marriage afterward that didn’t often seem built to last.
“It has its ups and downs,” he said easily. His smile, though, was genuine. “I didn’t think I’d love the kids, but I do. Especially Conner, as prickly as he can be.”
I caught myself before I could put a hand on my belly where the still too-tiny-to-feel baby was busy growing and doing whatever it was that babies at that age did. “But how is it working? Being here, trying to make music? I don’t think I can afford to be away from California, not yet. Especially if I lose this contract.” Yeah, that still stung. And scared me too.
