Page 42 of Love Lives
"Your thoughts are less clear."
"They're clear as beef broth." I scoffed and turned back to my pancake ingredients just so I wouldn't have to face Jared anymore. "Lately, I don't know what to think about him."
"Are you interested in men that way?"
“I’m not usually interested in anyone. You know that.” I’d tried it, but I’d never understood what the big deal was. This was fine with me. Kept my life simple. And when you looked at modern divorce statistics, romance hardly ever worked out anyway.
“Is that because of your mom?”
I stared at Jared. None of my other siblings would have asked me that, but Jared had never been one to shy away from a topic. I’d been raised mostly by my grandmother, up until her death, because my mom… She’d been a little messed up. ‘In love’ with a married man. He was a business tycoon. She was the secretary. It was all so cliché. They fucked, of course. She got pregnant. He dropped her. She started stalking him… It wasn’t pretty. None of it. She called it love, but it was more like a disease of the mind.
Did I think it was like that for everyone? No, but some diseases were hereditary. Fortunately, I seemed immune to this one.
“It’s not because of my mom,” I said. “I’m just wired differently.” Knowing what my mom had gone through merely made it easier for me to appreciate this fact.
“But you like Aldrich?”
Before I could say anything, my thoughts went back to the night before. To the bite. To the way my vampire had held me after that bite. The way I'd wanted to feel his hand on my cock... Except that wasn’t love. That was lust. On both our parts.
"He cares about you," Jared said when I failed to respond. "He's not my favorite vampire, but it's obvious."
"He cares about me because he wants to have sex with me." Even as the words left my mouth, though, they felt empty. Hadn't Aldrich already proven that he would stick by me 'in sickness and in health'? Or would that go away once he got what he wanted?More importantly, wouldhego away once he got what he wanted?
The fact that I had no answer to that question was more terrifying than I liked to admit even to myself.
Jared gave another grunt, then turned to leave again. "You're smarter than this," he said by way of goodbye. I didn't reply because I didn't know what to say.
With a sigh, I focused back on the breakfast I'd started.
I had more important things than my maybe yes maybe no feelings for Aldrich to worry about.
* * *
After breakfast, I asked Collin if he could summon the witch for me. He shot me a questioning look even while he kept one eye on the toddler crawling around the living room table and trying to put everything within reach into his mouth.
"What do you want with Puck?" he asked.
"There's just some things I need to ask him about. Magic and stuff." I kept my response purposefully vague. Collin already had enough going on without me piling on. He was my little brother, and where I could, I would avoid making him worry.
"I guess I could call him," Collin said. "He'll pretend like he's too busy to come at my beck and call, but he'll be too curious to stay away if I don't tell him what I need him for."
"Sounds like you know how to play him."
Collin shrugged then smiled. "Most men are pretty simple creatures."
"You included?"
"Totally." My brother's smile didn't falter. "All I want is some fun, some glitter... and to know that my family is safe." Saying that, he went over to his son to pull a remote out of his grasp. "That's not for chewing on. What did you do with your toy?"
"I think he destroyed it." I pointed at the mess of red plastic on the carpet to the far side of the table.
Collin sighed. "That's the second one this week. Sometimes I don't know if I have a baby or a puppy."
Little Nix babbled something incomprehensible, reached his fists up to his daddy and grinned as if very pleased with himself while saliva ran down the corner of his mouth.
"Maybe it's a combination of both," I suggested.
"Yeah, maybe. Here." Collin picked Nix up and handed him to me. "Watch him for a minute while I call Puck."
