Page 28 of Feral Touch
ITHADBEENa long day. I had early morningandlate afternoon classes with two exams, one written and the other performance. After that audition I'd felt more confident than ever, and it showed. Temsah gave me a nod of approval, so I knew I'd done well. Thoughts of Ren hadn't distracted me at all.
He'd stopped messaging me after I didn't reply. I felt bad. I probably should have messaged him back. After all, I still wanted to talk to him, still wanted to know what had happened in his past. I just didn't know how I could be around him while my feelings were so messed up.
I blew out a frustrated breath and rubbed my hands over my face. The woman sitting next to me on the bus gave me a look out of the corner of her eye and turned sideways, facing away from me. It was rush hour and the bus was packed. My cello took up an entire seat to itself, so she was already annoyed at having tosqueeze into the tiny space left on the third seat.
I was relieved when the bus reached my stop. I caused a minor scene, excusing myself and trying not to push people out of the way, but I needed to get to the doors before the driver closed them.
If my last class ended during the rush hour commute, I normally stayed late and played in one of the practice rooms. It had been a challenging day, though, and all I wanted was to get home, take a shower, and go to bed early.
I wheeled my cello through the front doors of my apartment and checked the mail on autopilot, not expecting anything but junk.
Instead I found a letter addressed to me.
I drew in a sharp breath. It was from one of the scholarship funds I’d applied to, the only one I hadn’t heard back from. The only one that hadn’t turned me down completely.
I gripped it tight, being careful not to crumple it. I wheeled my cello to the elevator, nerves buzzing anda lump in my throat.
After what felt like an eternity, I made it to my apartment, took off my coat and sat on the living room sofa.
“Nat? Jen?”
They weren't home yet. I had to do this by myself.
I slowly and carefully ripped a tiny piece of the envelope all the way down its side and pulled out the contents. It was a single piece of paper. I read the first few words. My heart sank.
We regret to inform you…
Another rejection. The final rejection.
I really thought I’d get this one. I met all the requirements, had all the qualifications. It just wasn’t enough. There were too many students applying and not enough money to go around.
I blinked back the tears stinging my eyes and sat on the sofa for several long minutes, digesting the news.
“It's okay.” I forced myself to say the words out loud. “I'll be okay.”
So what if I didn't get this scholarship? I'd known it might be the case. There were no guarantees—that's why I'd started looking for part-time jobs. I didn't have to freak out. I nodded to myself and wiped at my cheeks. I could handle this.
I went about making dinner, trying to distract myself with mundane tasks. I decided to make lemon pepper chicken with rice and vegetables. According to the color-coded schedule we'd stuck to the fridge, Natalie and Jen should both be home within an hour. I'd make enough for all three of us to eat when they came home.
I glanced at the time and set the oven to pre-heat. I seasoned the chicken and measured out the rice to put in the cooker. I chopped red and orange bell peppers into thin strips; I could cook them in the steaming basket that came with the rice cooker.
When the oven was ready, I put in the chicken. Finished with all the prep work, I wiped down and disinfected the countertops. It wasn't my turn to clean, but I felt it was only fair that I clean the mess I made.
When everything was clean and put away, I stared at the clock. The second hand ticked away.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
I shook my head and clasped my shaking hands to my chest.
“I'll be okay,” I said aloud.
With dinner in the oven, I decided to do a bit of tidying, taking out the kitchen trash, straightening up the living room, and putting away odds and ends that always cluttered up the coffee table. Anything to distract myself.
I was contemplating dusting the tops of the bookshelves when I heard my phone ping from across the room. I hesitated. What if it was Ren again?
