Page 43 of Feral Touch
“I'm so sorry.” I knew exactly what I'd said that had hurt him so much the night I went to his place.
You can’t just buy people off, Ren.
Ren's parents used money as a substitute for love. No wonder he'd left—who would be able to stand living in a house like that? No wonder he had such a messed up view of the world. How much would it damage a person to believe his own parents, the people who were supposed to love him no matter what, actually hated him?
It would probably make someone feel like unlovable.
I just wonder sometimes,Ren had said on our date.Whether this is real or not. Wondering when it’s all going to disappear. All my fans, all that attention. I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve it.
“Ren, whatever you think about your parents, it doesn't matter. You're a wonderful person. You're talented and gorgeous and people all over the world worship you.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me tight. We sat there with our limbs tangled together for long moments, chests heaving against one another as we breathed.
“Gorgeous, huh?” he finally spoke up, his tone teasing.
I blushed and buried my head in his chest. “Shut up. You know exactly how sexy you are.”
“First it was gorgeous, now it's sexy. I like where this is going. What's next?”
“Don't start getting a big head like your lead singer.”
Ren grimaced. “God forbid.” He fell silent staring at me, his thumbs caressing my sides. My body heated up at his touch, even through layers of clothing. I wondered if there would be a repeat of last time.
“Can we talk about the duet idea again?”
I groaned and pulled back. “Ren, I told you—”
“No, listen. What if instead of me paying you, we split the royalties fifty-fifty? That way it's not me giving you money. If the fans like it, they'll buy it. It'll be your own hard work.”
I paused to contemplate it. It didn't sound half bad. Ren wouldn't be paying me off; I'd be making the money myself. I'd still be using his fame—no one would listen to some brand new classical artist—but it would still be my own work if we composed the piece together.
Ren watched with anticipation as I debated the idea inside my head. I nodded. “Okay. I'll do it.”
He grinned, delighted. “Awesome! This is going to be so great. Just you watch. We're totally going to outsell anything Jayce has done.”
“Are you in some sort of competition with him?”
“No. Not really. I'd just like to beat the pants off him one of these days in some way. I know I'm not as popular as he is.”
I began to protest, but he shook his head.
“It's okay. I know where I stand when it comes to the fans. It's our unspoken arrangement. Kell's a huge flirt. He has people eating out of the palm of his hand. They would die for him. Jayce oozes sex appeal without even trying. Girls throw themselves at him all the time. That's enough of an ego for one band. It's better if Morris and I keep it more subdued compared to those two.”
I’d seen how girls acted around him. If what I'd seen from Ren on stage was ‘subdued’, I didn't want to know how they'd react if he put one hundred percent into it.
The thought of all those girls made me squirm inside. Ren had said he didn’t want to lose his chance to be with me. He liked me. Out of all the girls in the world he could have chosen, he chose me. Why? What made me so special?
I shook my head inwardly. I couldn’t let myself think like that. I couldn’t doubt myself. So what if Ren had a million girls lusting over him? He wasn’t with any of them. He was with me. He saw something in me, even if I didn’t see it in myself. He said I was talented. Growing up, everyone called me gifted, but coming from someone like Ren, that meant a lot.
Had Ren’s parents ever called him gifted? Had they even listened to him play music at all? I couldn’t believe any parent could hate their child. What had they done to make him think that way? What had they done to make him run?
And why did he think he deserved it?
CHAPTER 11
AFTERIAGREEDto Ren's duet plan, he hadn't been able to stay for much longer. It turned out he'd skipped out on rehearsal time. He'd been acting odd for days and the guys were worried about him.Morris eventually got sick of his moping and threatened to smack him out of it if he didn't come and talk to me.
I'd been horrified to learn the mega-famous rock stars of Feral Silence had been privy to mine and Ren's ‘lover's spat’, as Kell had apparently been calling it. Ren reassured me they didn't know the details, just that the two of us had a fight.
