Page 13 of Feral Touch
Natalie came home to find me brooding on the living room sofa. I hadn’t even bothered to put my bag or cello away; they sat by the front door.
“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately, throwing her purse on the kitchen table and hurrying to sit next to me.
“I heard back from the contest.”
Her face dropped. “So they’ve already made their decision. That’s too bad. I didn’t get an email either.”
“I did get an email. They chose me.”
Her face lit up for a second, then she frowned, giving me a concerned look. “Why aren’t you excited?”
“It’s been so long, Nat. What if things are different? What if he’s different? So much can change in five years.”
“You’ve been watching his videos. Do you think he’s changed?”
Yes, I thought to myself silently. It didn’t seem like a bad change, though. Ren seemed happier. More open. But…
“The way celebrities act on camera isn’t always the way they act in private. For all I know, he’s got a huge ego, tons of groupies and a drug problem.”
Natalie laughed. “Are you serious? You’re really going to pull out those old rock star stereotypes?” She slapped me on the back and shook her head. “You’re worrying too much. It’s just a fan meeting. Go talk to him and find out what he’s like! If you don’t like the way he acts, you never have to see him again.”
“I might not, anyway. Who knows what he was thinking when he chose my video? He might just be curious about things back home and want to pump me for information. He might not even care about me at all.”
“I thought you said you were just friends,” she said with a sly smile.
I flushed and looked away. “We are. Were.”
“Look, just meet him first. Worry about the rest later.”
Easier said than done.
I woke up with butterflies in my stomach on the day of the fan meeting.
I couldn’t pinpoint any one emotion in the dozens I was feeling—some combination of nerves, excitement, dread and anger.
Nerves, excitement and dread I could understand.
But the anger? That was new.
I hadn’t realized how angry I was until I started thinking about what to say to Ren.
Ren had just disappeared, left without saying a word to anyone. No one knew where he was, what he was doing, or even if he was still alive. Here he was living it up as a famous celebrity and he didn’t even have the decency to tell anybody back home that he was more than just fine.
Maybe it was shock and relief after finding out he was okay that hid the anger. But now, with our second meeting approaching, I could feel a ball of outrage making my chest clench up.
“Don’t blow up at him in front of everyone, okay?” Jen said, worry in her voice. “He probably had his reasons, even if you don’t know what they were.”
“You don’t want to cause a scene,” Natalie said. “Or they’ll throw you out.”
“I’m not going to cause a scene.” I shoved my arms into my jacket in sharp jerking motions and stomped into my boots without undoing the laces. “I’m just going to ask him why he never bothered to tell me he wasn’t dead in a gutter somewhere.”
“This is supposed to be a fun day,” Natalie reminded me. “An exciting day. You’re reuniting with your long lost love.”
“Stop. I told you, it’s not like that.”
“But you wanted it to be, right?”
I focused on zipping my jacket and didn’t respond.
