Page 62 of Feral Touch
Kell just grinned. He walked over to Ren and hooked an arm around his neck, hauling him next to me. Ren let him do it without protest, still in shock.
Ailey looked surprised, but pleased beyond belief. Jayce had an amused tilt to his lips. The worry lines on Morris' face eased as relief began to take their place.
Kell opened the vehicle door and guided me in first, then dumped Ren into the seat across from me unceremoniously.
“You kids have fun!” he called out as he slammed the door and left us alone in the limo. Kell spoke to the driver in a muffled voice. Seconds later the van took off.
I stared at Ren, taken aback by the last few minutes. Ren was staring at the floor, avoiding my eyes. We were silent for a few moments.
“I'm sorry,” I said, wanting to get that out of the way first.
Ren finally looked up in disbelief. “Sorry? Why are you sorry?”
“I'm sorry about the concert tickets. I didn't know.”
Anguish flicked across his face, the hurt in his eyes worse than it had been the morning he stormed out. “How did you find out?” he asked, voice flat.
“The internet.”
He huffed out a bitter laugh. “Of course. There are no secrets any more, are there?”
“They were old articles,” I reassured him. “Nothing to connect Ren from Feral Silence with that accident.”
“It wasn't an accident!” Ren burst out, then snapped his mouth shut.
“Yes, it was.” I spoke softly and shifted over to sit next to him. He was tense, his body almost vibrating. I took his hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles the same way he always did to me. “It was a car accident, Ren. Your brother hit a patch of ice. That's all. You had nothing to do with it.”
“I did. It was my fault.” Ren's voice was monotone. He spoke the words robotically, as if they were coming from someone else. My heart ached for him. “I missed the bus home from school. The only reason he was on the road was because he had to come get me. I whined at him over the phone to hurry up. He was speeding because he didn't want me to miss the concert. It was his birthday present to me.”
“You were just a little kid. You can't blame yourself for that.”
“My parents did.”
The ache in my chest spiked, tears threatening to fall from my eyes, but I was sure the pain inside Ren was a thousand times worse.
“They were wrong,” I insisted. I climbed over, settling myself in his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. “It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. It's not your fault,” I repeated.
“It is. It's my fault my brother is dead. I killed him.”
“Ren...” I pulled back to face him. “You have to forgive yourself.”
He took in a shuddering breath and leaned forward, burying his head in my neck. The touch of his lips on my skin made me shiver, but I shoved those thoughts down ruthlessly.
“Why did you come here?” he asked.
“I needed to apologize.”
He shook his head. “You don't need to. It was all me. Me and my stupid hang-ups. I'd been trying so hard to forget, to build a new life for myself.” He shrugged helplessly. “For a moment I'd forgotten.”
“Forgotten what?”
He mumbled something into my neck.
“Ren, tell me,” I insisted.
“I don't deserve you,” he whispered. “I don't deserve any of this.”
I took his face in my hands, making him meet my eyes. “Listen to me. You can't let guilt eat away at you. You are talented and gorgeous and kind. You deserve all the good things that have happened to you.” I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his, lip nearly touching. “You areRenofFeral Silenceand you're amazing.”
