Page 66 of Hard Rock Muse
I was going to remind him it was Everly now, but hearing the name from Seth didn't cause the same pain as it once did. It just felt like the good old days.
Speaking of the old days…
“Can I ask you something?” I spoke up.
“Sure,” Seth said easily.
“Did Julian really stop writing music after we broke up?”
Seth went silent.
“You don’t have to betray his confidence or anything,” I said. “He already told me as much. I was just wondering—”
I paused. I wasn’t sure what I was wondering. I just needed more details.
“It’s true that Julian found it hard to compose afterwards,” Seth said slowly. “I never knew if it was just because he didn’t want to be reminded of everything, if it was too soon, or if he really had an actual problem.”
“He said the stuff he did write was bad.”
“It was shit,” Seth said bluntly. “It all sounded dull and lifeless. There wasn’t that emotional spark you should feel when you hear a piece of music. It’s like music was an extension of his state of mind.”
“Is that what he was like, after?” I asked. “Lifeless?”
“Not exactly,” Seth said. “It was more like he returned to being the person he used to be before he met you.”
“I barely remember a time before me and Julian.”
“I do.”
Seth said it so firmly it made me pause.
“I’ve known Julian almost our whole lives, remember?” Seth said. “I was that little pipsqueak on the playground who tried to tell off the older bullies for picking on that weird, quiet kid. And then the both of us got beaten up.” Seth chuckled at the memory. “You never knew what Julian was like growing up. If you think he’s guarded now…” Seth shook his head. “By the time he met you, he was better, but I remember that closed off, dead-eyed kid he used to be. Took me a while to befriend him. He was a tough nut to crack, let me tell you. And no wonder, considering what he put up with, living with that family of his.”
“He lived with his aunt, right?” I asked. “After his mom took off?”
“Well, yeah, but it wasn’t just the one aunt, was it? ” Seth shrugged, sounding matter-of-fact.
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Ah…” Seth’s eyes went wide and he looked like he bit his tongue. “You didn’t know?”
“Didn’t know what?” I demanded.
“Julian’s mom’s sister had him for a few years, but then she pawned him off to an uncle, and then he got shuffled off to another aunt, and then—” Seth bit his lip. “Julian really should be the one to tell you all about it.”
“He never said anything about any of that,” I replied.
Julian had lived with his aunt growing up. That was what he said.
Now Seth was saying that was a lie.
How many times had Julian switched guardians? How many times had he been passed around? Had he ever had a stable home?
And why hadn’t he told me about any of this?
Seth stood quickly from the chair. He scrunched up his face and smacked his forehead.
“I’m such a dumbass,” he lamented. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry. Just ignore me.”
