Page 51 of Crash and Burn
I faltered. It wasn't an unreasonable question to counter with.
"I didn't want to ruin our friendship," I finally said.
"So what would make you think I'd take the risk of losing yours?" he asked.
For as long as I'd had feelings for Grant, the thought of losing him as a friend was unbearable. He was one of the few people in my life who understood me. Who supported me.
He loved me, the way friends should. The way family should.
But my feelings for Grant were anything but familial.
"I suppose it would make me a hypocrite to be upset with you for not saying anything sooner," I conceded.
"It would." A small smile touched his lips.
"But what about now?" I asked. "We had sex." I was blunt, not beating around the bush. "That changes everything."
"Does it?" he asked. "Does it have to?"
"Sex always changes everything," I replied.
"We're still friends," he said. "We'll still go out for brunch and we'll have our movie nights. We'll still joke and laugh with each other. We'll still encourage each other's dreams and passions. None of that will change. The only difference now is that we've both acknowledged how we feel for each other."
And what exactly would that be?I wanted to ask.
Over the years my feelings had grown from simple affection to outright love. But did Grant love me in return? Just because we'd had sex didn't mean it had to be love on his part. The L-word was so fraught with meaning.
But even if he didn't love me the way I loved him, he clearly felt deeply for me.
"And what about working together?" I asked.
Grant shrugged.
"That doesn't have to change either," he said. "We'll keep it discreet when we're on the clock but it won't be a secret or anything."
"You do get more tips when you flirt with the women," I noted.
"And you get more tips when you flirt with the guys," he agreed.
"So we both agree flirting for money isn't off-limits?" I asked.
"As long as the guys keep their hands to themselves, we're good," he said.
"You better believe the guy who thinks he can get handsy with me will quickly be disabused of the notion."
"I've seen you deal with a few pervs," he said. "I have no doubt you can take care of yourself."
"Same with the ladies," I told him. "A hand on the shoulder or something is okay, but I don't want to see them groping you."
"I wouldn't want that either," he replied. "I can't believe we need to have a conversation about what kind of flirting from random strangers is okay."
"We work at a bar,” I shrugged. Then another thought came to me. "What about if things..." I fiddled with the ends of my hair, looking down at my feet to avoid his eyes. "What if things don't go so well between us?" I finished quietly.
"They will," he promised.
"But what if they don't?" I insisted.
Grant put his hands on my shoulders and ducked down until we were face to face.
