Page 76 of Hot and Bothered
“Maybe I can help?” I offered. “I can take care of some of those visits, too. Make sure your mom’s still doing okay.”
“I don’t need you to worry about this,” he said.
“You may not want me to, but I’m going to worry anyway.”
He threw down the towel, the wet fabric smacking loudly against the counter.
“It’s not your problem,” he snapped. “It’smyfamily andmyproblem to deal with. Let it go, okay?”
I knew this was a difficult situation. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Evan, navigating his mom’s illness, monitoring her every day to make sure she was staying on her medications, worrying about his sister and how she was handling everything.
But as much as my heart ached for him, I couldn’t help but feel like his stubbornness was going to be his downfall. He’d been managing his mom’s illness for years, but he couldn’t keep going like this forever. He already looked close to coming apart at the seams.
It might not have been my job to fix his problems, but Evan’s wellbeing was important to me. I couldn’t just act like this part of his life wasn’t happening.
“I can’t just let it go,” I told him.
“Look, everything’s going to be fine, all right?” he said, exasperated. “Stop worrying. I just want things to go back to the way they were before.”
“Then I guess we’ll have to just go on pretending,” I said. “The next time Christie needs to escape the house for a day, I’ll pretend she’s just dropping in for dinner. The next time you have to rush out of the apartment to take care of your mom, I’ll pretend it’s just a normal family visit. Is that how you want it?”
“Yes,” he scowled. “That’s exactly how I want it.”
“Well, I can’t do that,” I said. “I can’t pretend something this important isn’t happening.”
“It’s not your problem,” he bit out. “Just forget about it.”
“Your mother’s illness is a big part of your life. I won’t ignore it just because it’s difficult. If I’m going to be a part of your life, then I’m going to be a part of this, too.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t be a part of my life,” he snapped.
I inhaled a sharp breath. A stabbing sensation shot through my chest. Evan pressed his lips together, not saying anything more. He picked up the wet rag again and went back to scrubbing at the counter.
“Fine.” I swallowed hard. “If that’s how you want it.”
I whirled around on my heel, storming back to Mason’s office. Tears stung my eyes and fell down my cheeks before I had a chance to close the door.
My chest burned hot with anger, even as my heart clenched painfully.
It was clear that Evan wanted to handle this on his own. Apparently, the last thing he wanted was my help. But there was no way I could pretend something this important wasn’t a part of his life. I wasn’t going to watch him run out of the apartment after a frantic phone call and just go to bed alone like nothing was happening.
Maybe Evan could separate those two parts of his life. He could work at Sin and Tonic and date girls and never once mention what he was dealing with in his private life.
I couldn’t do that. If I was going to be with someone, I was going to be all in, one hundred percent, sharing everything, the good and the bad.
After all, that was what Evan had done for me. He knew all the terrible parts of my life, as much as he knew the good parts. I just wanted to do the same for him.
But it was plainly obvious he wasn’t going to let me.
From the way Evan was so tight-lipped about himself, he was clearly able to compartmentalize these different parts of his life. Maybe it even made a little bit of sense, that when he was at home with me he would want to pretend everything as normal, at least until the next emergency call from Christie.
But that wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted. Sure, maybe I wanted a happily-ever-after, but that didn’t mean I wanted to live in a fairy tale. I knew real life was messy. My own life was the proof of that.
I knew I could handle it. I could handle the good and the bad when it came to Evan and his mother’s illness. I wasn’t going to be scared off.
But Evan wasn’t going to give me the chance to prove it.
Was this it? Was this the end? Was he really going to give me that kind of ultimatum?
